::born free (writing)::

well, this weekend's sloth didn't just breed laziness and bedsores. i'm enjoying a lovely three day weekend (i love working for a bank!) and yesterday was thus inspired to compose (music). i sat down at the piano, though so dreadfully out-of-tune, and worked up a theme. and, rather than throw it away, like i do with so many other impromptu compositions, i dug out the manuscript paper, rustled up a mechanical pencil and eraser from my backpack (yup, it's the math this semester), and started scribbling away.

what a wonderful feeling! what an incredible sense of calm! i know this language which allows me to transcribe my spur-of-the-moment piddlings into something which will preserve the inspiration!!! holy cow! it's just like freewriting (or steam of consciousness writing), only requiring an extra step to translate the notes onto paper. i quickly realized how out of practice i was as i debated treble vs. bass clef, key and time signature. though it didn't take long, it certainly doesn't come naturally to me. i wish it would. i wish i didn't have to fight so hard with my notes and my pencil in order to put them on paper.

when you love something so much, as i love music, it can become one huge, impassioned road block. i'm hoping to continue on this path to recovery and become more well-adjusted to the process. but it all takes time. something which i can't seem to get enough of.