::eve of resignation::

good morning. it's tomorrow: the day i tell all. one call to my new employer in the a.m. and then i meet with my boss and spill the beans. i have lost all bitterness, which is nice, and now find myself strangely sad at the thought of leaving. i've been building up to this for so long & mentally preparing for the day. i am sad to leave my customers. on to different things, though. not necessarily bigger or better. just different.

i am really excited about this job. josh & i could carpool and i am less than a mile away from his office. seems as though this will be a very fun & fast-paced job & i'm looking forward to doing something different. afterall, i'm still going to school to be a teacher.

hey- got the la times today: FINALLY! actually, i got two?! guess they are trying to make up for the past, no? i go shopping to-day!!!

:: ! ! ! ! ! ! ::

i got an OFFER!!!!

monday is d-day

(decisions decisions)

i'm praying for 2...

i'd like to have a choice.

time will tell

::number two::

here i am killing time between interviews. i have a second interview pending (or so i am told) with a company near where josh works in irvine. very cool. i really liked the environment: very high energy & upbeat. that was interview #2 @ noon. It lasted 10 minutes. during the interview i heard the following songs: one headlight, by the wallflowers, along with sheryl crow's most recent single. the walls are painted yellow. they have a valet & underground parking. located across the street from a non-profit public television station. what more could you ask for?

as for the first place...if i am allowed to be picky, than no thank you. 2 reasons: pay cut (though temporary) & sterile working conditions. I don't think there are any windows nearby. i was interviewed by 3 people. my goodness: everyone has 2 or 3 bosses? yeah...how about this question:
What draws you to want to work in loans?
what i really wanted to say: gee, i dunno. i just kinda wanted to get out of my current position as soon as possible. i thought this would be an easier job, less stress, and i thought it would pay more than i'm making right now. also (& this is true) i don't want to work weekends anymore.

::three::

...interviews! ohmygosh! 10/12/3 o'clock. i'll be a very busy girl tomorrow!

haven't felt terribly creative as of recently. i think there's been too much on my mind with looking for a new line of work. 3 interviews is very exciting. that will make a total of 4 plus 2 headhunter peoples.

tonight's observations:
i am facinated watching my car's shadow shift across the pavement as i head east and ease around the bend to our house. (look up look up: OH NO!--just kidding)
i am amazed at how loudly mango, the orange kitten, purrs (he's one now)
i picked up my dry cleaning and i wondered: how do they DO that?

postscript: la times still hates me, but i think THIS sunday they might finally give me some love based on the "3x is a charm" hypothesis. i won't hold my breath, but i need those coupons. If you live in Southern CA, check out the most incredible shopping companion you could have at the grocery store. You won't be disappointed, I promise.

::31::

wow...a day for adventure. i will venture down to fallbrook to celebrate my sister's birthday.
tonight we watch zoolander with friends justin, dan & joanne.
life is good.

::1+1=5::

::1+1=5::

5 years.
one day: september 17
one question: wanna go steady?
one dinner: M/MME. P, do you you still have that poem? something about hippos drunk on carbonated butane. (don't even ASK!)
who would have thought that would carry us to today. never in my wildest dreams...i hadn't the faintest clue i was meeting my true companion that fated evening at the irvine spectrum. it's STILL a wonderment and it's STILL a joy and i won't let those cynics out there tell me "Just wait.... It's not going to always be blissful..." that's up to US.

and i'm speechless & i'm more in love with him every day. thank you, josh.

::five::

got a lift home today from a coworker because my car needs a new radiator. be aware, sweet 215,000 mile van, i've got my eye on you! if you start costing me more money....

my pre-cooked chicken in it's convenient portable container tells me, "eat 5 a day" but i think it is mistaken: shouldn't that be my vegetables talking???

the kids (my cats) are hungry, i have a headache, & i just got the hiccups ...

::no soup for YOU!--soup nazi::

apparently that's how the la times feels about me. no paper today. apparently my last call for the sunday edition was unsuccessful. what a drag. no coupons for ME!

my practice session (it's like learning a whole other language!):
next year we travel to new zealand for 10 days. this year, we went to australia and we can't wait to go back. had tons of fun in sydney and dream of living there a few months out of the year.

::truth: stranger than fiction??::

(here is where i was going to rant about something rather petty, but i've decided against it. why? because i'm HAPPY and i'm not going to write about something that would give the impression of anything otherwise. so long, fair post. i think it's better this way.)

so, who writes about a deletia> me
where i ate tonight>el torito
what> taco salad
when>8 ish
who>me, amy, teri, will, patricia, jenn, matt, brandon (oop! not really....turn on spring st. & meet us @ claim jumper...insert 1.5 hours & a phone call)
why>happy-birthday-happy-graduation-amy-got-a-job-come-see-the-new-digs

that necklace from san francisco broke tonight when i started to undo the clasp. it just disintigrated. it was my favorite, but tied to so many memories. it's been almost a year now & i think things ended peaceably enough (up where "the portable toilets in petaluma frightened her") but it still...some things are better off. ...fin...

i read in oc weekly about this lady who is, like, the furniture psychic. This lady claims to see into the past of pieces of furniture and if it had a tainted history, it would be bad "feng shui" in your home. i don't give her any credibility, but it's made me aware of some things because there was a point in my life where every "place" & every "thing" had an association, a person or an event, tied with it. well, i think that in my life i can chose to glorify objects and the memories i associate with them, or i can realize that this practice or habit is by CHOICE and i can decide whether or not i want the memories to speak for me as i am today, or if i want to remain chained to the past. getting this piano (brought down from my parents' house) was a big step & i am warming up to it. i am making new memories and moving forward. you see, i love music. i love playing piano SKILLFULLY. but there was a phase i went through about 7 years ago that was completely love/hate. i loathed the tedious practice sessions. i would burn with frustration at not being able to get a part right...and my love for the art of music waned. but, i am starting over, making new memories, one of which is...

...during our trip home with the piano, we would check on it every stop we made.
so, here we are at random gas station off interstate 5 and i pop into the quik-mart
for a drumstick & a bathroom break. i exit with marshmallow toaster forks and josh
has the rear gate on the uhaul up and music is coming from the trailer. we did this
every chance we got. people must've thought we were really odd....

::today's mail::

Ladies -

As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin to see a naked woman that
is not his wife. So, this Saturday
afternoon at 2:00 pm, Pacific time, all North American women are asked to
walk out of their houses, completely naked, to help weed out any
neighborhood terrorists.

Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist
effort. All men are to position
themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to prove they think
it's okay to see other women nude and to show support for their fellow
sisters. Since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold
six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.

The United States of America appreciates your efforts to root out
terrorists and applauds your participation.

God Bless America!!

::dear manager::

Dear Manager...
I am outraged!
This "hotel" is a
travesty! Not only
do I arrive in my
suite tired, but I am
forced to share the
room with a total
stranger and 2 cats.
Also, my morning coffee
was not sound in the con-
venient table pitcher, and
instead, I was forced to
get my own cup and risk
burning myself on the coffee
making machine. Thank you.
(M.)

::the infinite::

today is...365 days after the horror. is it cliched to write about it? perhaps. but i will anyhow.

where were YOU? we don't talk about it much because everyone talks for us: the media the media the media. in the past year i have learned more about the media than i care to. biased, you can't get "just the facts, ma'am, just the facts" anymore. no not there. they tell you what they want you to hear (even if it means putting our nation at risk). Q: am i done soapboxing?

i woke up to classical music a year ago today. i was single, in a twin bed, owner of one cat named "monty". he was somewhere in my san clemente apartment: probably keeping my roommate kim company as she readied for work. slowly gearing up for the day, i listened from my bed as the soft sounds of the orchestra suddenly faded. a little bit before 7:00am, a voice on the radio announced that the world trade center had been hit. in a daze, i sprung up from my slumber. kim was leaving for work. i told her what i had heard, and the puzzled look on her face was one of, i don't know, shock? disbelief? unreality? i think she thought i must be wrong. i think that _I_ thought (hoped) that i was wrong. my brain heard the words of the radio announcer, but did not comprehend the meaning of them. it was all so unreal.

into the living room, i flicked on the electric box & these images came. not real not real not real. i phone my josh, who had spent an all-nighter at work on the latest project. disbelief & unreality. i watched while he held the line & number 2 came cruising in...you know the story. we all know it too well. i called my dad. my sister called me. we couldn't believe. it didn't seem possible.

i thank God i don't have cable right now. i don't want to turn on the electric box in our living room & see them replay the tapes from this angle and that. I don't want to relive last year because it's this year & it's time to never forget & IT IS TIME live our lives differently with an appreciation for our mortality.

end soapbox

::new beginnings

that's what i tell myself. yesterday anyhow. i've been rereading microserfs (douglas coupland is part genius) & making peace with my inner child. Ah! the things i say to sound literary & intelligent. (*blink blink*) am i really here right now?

vacation was a blur & i can't believe it's over. no news on the job front. i'm hoping that i'll be somewhere else before the month is up but who knows. as time ticks away i find myself slightly more desperate and somewhat discouraged. today has been hot (a cool 76F in my home, but blazing outside) and i found it difficult to work. i still imagine i'm on vacation i think because i worked yesterday & was off today that my illusion is complete, only i know i must wake up tomorrow & go to the gym at 6am. its my september resolution.

Q: Am I sounding more like a writer now? Where will this electronic diary get me in life & how long until my friends become discouraged by this lackluster display of communication. Go get'um, tiger. One day I'll understand myself.

So, what's happening in YOUR life?