december 2003 archive

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

::eve of new year's eve::

so tomorrow is the big finale. i go to work from 8:30 to 5:30, and then ring in the new year with my parents (along with josh!) for the first time in 6 years. we've come a long way, baby! let me tell you, i could actually get used to them dropping by for a few hours in the evening now & again. it's been a real treat to have them in town for the holidays. in 1997, they moved to oregon & i made a stab at life on my own in california, where i was born & raised. thank God for heather & james as i never would have survived. and josh. and his family. and my support system of girlfriends whom i have now known for 10+ years. what a crazy ride.

as i am about to hit 27 this year of 2004...what do i aim to do? ohmygosh, i am so not ready to answer that. new year's resolutions have not been my strong suit. i do aim to improve my writing skills, and to practice piano. i'm still teaching sunday school to preschoolers--definitely something i will stick to. going to the gym for the bettering of my health (i've been dealing with back pain from a couple of accidents i had about 6 years ago). and i will finally get tested for allergies the right way so that i am not tearing up every time i try to go shopping after work. i will finally read through the entire bible this year (i have never ever done this!). and that is where i will stop what i've started. my throat has been scratchy & it's time to take some vitamins & get my rest.


Monday, December 29, 2003

::back again, for the first time::

2004 is right around the corner & it is a year for starting over. there have been some major screw ups, and this year i don't feel as though i have given my personal best in life. it leaves me wanting for more. and. better. it's so hard, though. i am torn with the desire to be successful in life, but i also realize the brevity of mortal life on earth as i am coming to know it. i have had my butt kicked several times and i'll save all of you the painful details. suffice to say it's been a year of learning from mistakes and wishing i could mend my broken ties with those i never intended to sever. but, such is life & i'm supposing i should move on. torn by fear of legal action and a desire to right my wrongs, i will wait it out until i feel like the time is better. it is too soon.

some may already know the reason this website was down for so long, and it wasn't for a grand remodeling, let me tell you. again, it is a story way too long for this post and my dinner is quietly chilling as i attempt to bring furiousmuse.com up to speed. if anyone reads this who was hurt by my harsh rantings, let me tell you, this was never intended to get to you. and let me also say that what was written was in the midst of heated frustration & emotions that were running high. though i do stand by some feelings, most of what i ended up publishing was uneccessary, and the strongest of feelings subsided after i vented. there you have it. i have no idea what else i could possibly say to smooth things over.

can my dinner possibly get any colder?