since returning from paris and london and oxford i find myself mostly changed. i feel like the experience of showing up in a foreign country with nothing but the clothes on my back and cameras and prescriptions in my bag has worn me down into a woman who needs 2 or 3 changes of clothes and some deodorant in order to be happy. it also makes me want to cut my hair (it's so long now!). these are all wonderful, good things. i caught myself watching "project runway" simply because they were in paris and it feels good to say that i have been there.
i keep waiting to have something truly brilliant to say about our journey. to be struck by a string of eloquent words that capture the experience with such perfect trueness that it transports me back to that place & time. or the reader. instead, i search iTunes and land on "ok computer" and my insides become shaken & stirred in a martini of memories. ok, that was only chosen for the alliteration, as i realize martinis & memories have little to do with each other. my apologies.
i'm quitting my job. the 20th is my last day. after much painstaking dodging of the subject matter and seriously long bouts with "chick-foo" (aka, the former, in the form of small hints and crying spells and lots of chocolate) josh finally summarized my confusion (work AND school AND piano? i'll go insane! i don't really want to stop taking piano lessons...). hitting the nail on the head, the option became "so quit your job" in an outburst that warmed my heart and made me shameful for not being one hundred percent completely honest in the first place. he's a good man, charlie brown, and i'm the lucky one to have him as my life-long companion.
and now i must play piano.