::boo!::

::saturday funnies::

are you ready???

::my pal, mango::

a brief note about my cat mango. i am up this early for 2 reasons. one: i'm going in for some bloodwork because of all this and i needed to fast. i want to go in right when they open so that i can get it out of the way. two: i woke up and couldn't get to back to sleep. not with mango laying on my stomach.

mango. how do i describe his purring? have you ever experienced a 50-ton semi idlying in front of your house? that is how loud mango purrs. what's even funnier is, we moved the computer desk into the spare bedroom out of our hallway niche, and now mango has tons of room to lounge as i work. he is watching me type. and, he is also watching me sift through digital photos of himself and pawing at the screen. the only downside here is that is not a petite cat and he is laying in such a way as to creat a 45-degree angle with the monitor and my keyboard. worse than an earthquake on the san andreas fault, i am now typing at a less than perpendicular angle. it's enough to give one a headache (although mine has little to do with that).

i now understand that when i go to the computer (he's pawing at the screen again...he's been following the cursor as i move the mouse around) i will have this guy to compete with.



ah, but i do enjoy his company.

::testing, testing 1,2,3...::

today, the 'muse is proud & excited to announce a new edge for music reviews! iTunes provided the green light this morning to participate in their affiliate program. what this means to me is that i am beginning to take this site to the next level in my music reviews by linking directly to certain songs/artists for your sampling pleasure. it also means that, if you like said artist or song enough to buy it, iTunes kicks some "spare change" my way. this, i am happy to say, shall be spent wisely and may even aid in my pursuit to hire education.

if you shop iTunes on a regular basis anyway, do stop by and click on the link in my menu bar. you will be taken to your iTunes storefront and any shopping done in the next 24hrs kicks me back a little token of your gratitude for reading the 'muse or just being my friend. and, i thank you. while i don't anticipate a huge response here (but surprise me, please!) i do look forward to exploring as much music as i can get my ears on.

for my first mini-review, i am proud to say i went to high school with the lovely & talented lead singer of trespassers william, who were recently signed on nettwerk productions' label. having seen this band grow from coffee shop gigs to touring europe, i can truly say "i knew them when..." and am terribly proud. i hope you will enjoy exploring the mp3's on their website as well as the samples on iTunes.

::pick of the week::

i can honestly say, there is never enough time to review all the music i've got on my plate, but i'll try to highlight some of the most recent victories i've been gnawing on. enjoy, and do let me know any of your latest & greatest.

travis: 12 memories
this is a band that has happily matured oodles & oodles since the invisible band. i hear a few more beatles-esque chord changes (noted in quicksand with the percussive piano chords...i think it reminds me of eleanor rigby, actually). of course love will come through totally rocks my vote because it's from the one & only garden state. beautiful swirling melodies and repetitive/minimalist choruses which i absolutely love. do give it a whirl on ye itunes pretty please. you will be pleasantly surprised!

here is where i contemplate a rating system. no ideas. guess i'll just leave that for when i am not sure if you'll like something as well as i do. oh, well, that's not a very successful notion now, is it? it's just an opinion, so do as you will. yup. if you don't take interest in exploring music, you might as well skip these once-a-week-ish posts.

ummm...there are more albums to discuss, but i think scrubs is on, and i'm out of class early tonight, so i'll give some props to mr. zach braff. ciao!

::hire education::

i've spent recent days examining the potentials of nearby universities and rapidly came to grips with impending debt. i think i'm ok with it, and certainly financial aid will be a must, but it's overwhelming. my "greenhorn writer" state of affairs, coupled with a poor transcript (186 units attempted v. 62 completed, 2.8 gpa) makes me cringe at the prospective applications for admission i will be submitting. can i just interview, puh-leeze???

that said, i'm hoping that there is an essay requirement so that i might convince prospective schools to accept me for who i am right now, (*creative light bulb* persuasive speech for class! ummm...can i change my mind? must email the professor.) baggage and all. current forecasts predict entry in fall 2005/spring 2006. the later is more reliable, especially considering the need for good grades to show up on my transcript, as well as consistency on my part.

current prospective schools include UCI, Chapman University, and Cal State Long Beach, in order of preference. this is currently graded on a scale determined by website accessibility. Chapman is my big ticket school. i've wanted to go there since 7th grade, a time when it was still called "Chapman College". it costs twice as much six times as much as UCI. so far, their website has not impressed me. it has not provided ample information on their programs for english majors. UCI, on the other hand, actually offers a literary journalism major, with which i am highly impressed. what about CSULB you ask? well, i haven't gotten that far. we'll have to wait and see.

that said, well, it's going to take a lot of organization to get my ducks in a row. and, with about 3 solid semesters at the local j.c. i hope my application is dressed to impress and my wallet is thickly lined with financial aid. blogger scholarship, anyone?

::saturday funnies::

Burying the Goldfish

Little Lisa was in the garden filling up a hole in the dirt, when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Lisa?"

"My goldfish died," replied Lisa tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was very concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Lisa patted down the last heap of dirt then replied,
"That's because he's inside your cat!"

::don't bother me!::

copyright 2004 furiousmuse.com
use with permission ok

::domo arigato, shomei::

our ab-fab sushi restaurant, Shomei Sushi, changed ownership and last night was our final chance to bid a fond farewell to the owner & chef we have come to know so well in the past 10 months.

Kim & Hiro are household names these days as josh & i have been fortunate enough to visit them at least once a week since that fateful saturday in january we first stepped foot inside their restaurant. we have experienced the comfort of their warm hospitality and our taste buds have savored the wonderful plates of delectable sushi put before us time after time. last night was truly bittersweet.

due to being doubly obligated that night, the first half of the evening was spent at the alpine village celebrating teri's birthday and doing the obligatory chicken dance (or two). after giving amy a ride home, i managed to misguide myself onto the northbound 405. this was not fully realized until i saw a familiar and gaudy restaurant sign blazing bright red letters which read "ROYAL BUFFET", soon to be followed by the giant freeway sign which read:

...only it was nighttime and slightly drizzly. all delays aside, i finally arrived at my beloved Shomei Sushi a little bit before 10:30.

by the time i arrived, the party had dwindled to a handful of people. familiar faces greeted me at the door & i was ushered in to the post-party party. here, i faced the kareoke machine & sang the beatles' "norweigen wood" & consumed more even more food. Hiro whipped up some seared hamachi (yellowtail) for me, and later treated josh & i to a melt-in-your-mouth plate of hamachi sashimi. i learned that josh had kareoked for the first time in the seven years we've known each other and I MISSED IT for which i promise to eek out an encore sometime in the near future.

casual conversations drifted on for about an hour or so, and the time to say goodbye quickly approached. we took our cheery polaroids off of the black board which housed so many smiling faces of satisfied shomei patrons, accepted the parting gift of a set of six beer glasses, offered our thanks, and bid our lovely friends adieu.

we will miss you, Kim and Hiro. best wishes for the future. i hope our paths cross again.

::saturday funnies::

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in Southern California, and for those who do, study real hard.

This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Southern California, you may not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Southern California area.

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA DRIVER LICENSE APPLICATION

Name: _____________________________

Stage Name: _________________________

Agent: _____________________________

Attorney: ___________________________

Therapist's Name: _____________________

Sex: ( ) Male ( ) Female

Please list brand of cell phone: ___________.

If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:
_______________________________________________
(Use extra pages, if necessary)

Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Other

Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[x] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Lifting weights
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[ ] Snorting cocaine
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / reloading

Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to:
[ ] a) Shoot at other drivers ___
[ ] b) Be shot at ___

If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
[ ] a) Call the police to report the crime.
[ ] b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high-speed chase.
[ ] c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for your 911 call not going through.
[ ] d) Call your therapist.

In the event of an earthquake, you should :
[ ] a) Stop your car.
[ ] b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
[ ] c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
[ ] d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.

In the instance of rain, you should:
[ ] a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
[ ] b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
[ ] c) You're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per week: ____

Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
[ ] a) Prozac
[ ] b) Zovirax
[ ] c) Lithium
[ ] d) Zanax
[ ] e) Valium
[ ] f) Zoloft
[ ] g) All of the above
[ ] h) None of the above*
* If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
[ ] a) Less than 1 hour*
[ ] b) 1 hour
[ ] c) 2 hours
[ ] d) 3 hours
[ ] e) 4 hours or more
* If less than 1 hour, please explain: ____________________.

When stopped by police, you should:
[ ] a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready.
[ ] b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 freeway.
[ ] c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit.

When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window, it means:
[ ] a) Her turn-signals are broken.
[ ] b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes.
[ ] c) She is drying her nails.

Which part of your car will wear out first?
[ ] a) The wiper blades
[ ] b) The seat belts
[ ] c) The horn

Automatic door locks are good for:
[ ] a) Security
[ ] b) Convenience
[ ] c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in.

The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
[ ] a) Dark, poorly lit roads
[ ] b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
[ ] c) Revenge

If you are over the age of 75, you do not have to complete this test, you are entitled to drive even if you cannot see, hear, or move.

::faith, by nathan cistone::

This reflection was written by Nathan Cistone for the October 3, 2004 Worship Service of the First Unitarian Universalist Society of San Francisco.
Nathan died in a car crash earlier in the week before the service. Susan Anthony, Toby Meyer, and Brian Ferguson read Nathan's words for him.

I'm angry that God has been hijacked. I'm angry that something so beautiful and inspirational has been perverted into a tool to discriminate, judge, and persecute. I love God, and I use that term freely. However, I hate that when someone says "God" to me, I instantly get a knot in my stomach and my defenses raise way up because I don't know what context it's coming from. I consider myself a very spiritual person, and God plays a huge role in my life. I went through a phase where I felt like I needed to use a different term because most people's interpretation of God was just too limiting. However, I've decided that I will use the term God over and over and over again when I talk about my Faith because (a) I'm stubborn, and (b) I refuse to let the religious fanatics continue to use God as an excuse to justify their fears and insecurities.

I experience God through people, through nature, through meditation, and through prayer. I feel connected to God every single instance in time because to me, God is life. I see miracles happen daily and have had one too many prayers answered to deny the existence of something so much more awesome than all life itself. But we as humans have this incredible skill of overcomplicating things, and no one is more guilty of that than me. In that department, I think I'm Public Enemy #1.

But despite all the controversy and awkwardness, I choose to live a life of Faith. Faith is not the absence of rational thought and life experience as some people preach it to be. To me, Faith is simply the internal belief that something greater than me believes in my potential and wants me to reach it. There is no right or wrong answer to how Faith should be expressed. However, to me a life without some sort of Faith, be it in a higher power, in people, in science, or in yourself, feels so dark and meaningless.

I'm a transgendered, cross-eyed, dork, but God still loves me. And the reason I know that is because my prayers have consistently been answered. I wouldn't literally be the man standing before you that I am if that wasn't true. And as I've said before, my prayers have never been answered how I wanted or expected, and never on my timeline, but when and how they were supposed to. So I choose to be the proof that God does not discriminate nor judge. God merely teaches and guides in my life--but only because I learn from the people I respect, and I'm humble enough to learn from my enemies and the people who do not understand me. I am the first to admit that I am completely ignorant of pretty much all religious texts. The more I know, the more I realize I don't know. But I don't have to be an expert in all the ways that God has worked in people's lives since the dawn of time to know in my heart that God exists, and in many more ways than I know of.

Ladies and gentlemen, there is a war going on right here in this country--it's a Faith war. I know that I cannot fight what I do not understand. But I also know that evil triumphs when good men and women do nothing, and I will not be deterred from a life of Faith just because people fear my differences and I'm considered a social misfit. There are people out there who have experienced the awesomeness of God, but who have been misguided because they are and only know people who are socially "normal" and have never had a reason to question their religious teachings. Well, I've experienced the awesomeness of God too and my life is and will continue to be the proof that God doesn't discriminate, judge, or persecute--people do. My life will be proof that God is abundant--not because I preach or believe a specific dogma, but because I am grateful for the gift of life and I respect it. Now, I'm far from perfect and I'm no more special than any person in this room--that's a fact. I just know that there have been times in my life when I completely rejected Faith, and times when I've been full of Faith, and every single time I've been full of Faith, I've won.

sometimes, it's better to share other's thoughts and refrain from blog-related contemplation. that said, talk amongst yourselves....

::pick of the week::

TOGETHER AGAIN

The first notes of Leon Fleisher's Two Hands are extraordinary in so many ways. The solo piano music itself is deeply moving--a warm and gentle touch playing the familiar and soothing notes of Bach's "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring." And the very fact that this gifted pianist's two hands are working in concert is itself uplifting. Four more than 35 years, Fleisher's right hand suffered from dystonia, a neurological disorder that causes involuntary contractions and can be painful. His search for treatment was not successful. Then recently, as the National Institutes of Health, a doctor began treating his hand with injections of botox (yes, Hollywood's anti-wrinkle med). The 76-year-old is now performing and recording with both hands, his music imbued with the deep emotions of a man too long separated from his true love.
--Marc Silver, U.S. News & World Report

leon fleisher is a name which has been tucked away in my head for many years thanks to linda (my piano teacher). not until reading this article, so carelessly tossed into the lunchroom with the newspaper, better homes & gardens back issues, and the latest job openings, did i realized i had not actually heard m. fleisher perform. thanks to the wonderful conveniences of this modern age, up popped itunes and i had the album at my fingertips within a couple of minutes from the safe harbor of my own home, at my computer, in my pjs.

i am amazed. classical musicians can leave me breathless, or they can earn my fiery wrath. those truly passionate for their art always convey that love, while others may convey plain perfection (if we are so lucky). first and foremost above the technical abilities, in my book, is love. the recording in question is of excellent caliber, the production quality putting one right in the midst of a personal concert to enjoy in the comfort of the home. or the car. or at the computer, as i am experiencing it now.

m. fleisher is not only a lover of his music, he is a master of execution. each note properly expressed, every subtlety defined, every appoggiatura perfectly accented. debussey's "clair de lune" caught me in its grasp so effortlessly that i think i forgot to breathe as the notes wafted through the air. that piece, in particular, seems to be one which all pianists like to include on at least one recording. itunes alone returns a list of 144 songs when i queery that single title, and i'm certain amazon would double that (ok, actually, amazon leaves my imagination in the dust at 499 results, but search queries aren't perfect & there are bound to be a few duplicates there. aside from that, i do believe you get it). point being, few could convey in their entire being what m. fleisher can express with, well, his left hand alone.

mind you, this is not an ability i believe to be limited to classical musicians. no, not in the least.

::happy trails::

if i haven't mentioned it before, i absolutely adore traveling. not necessarily the process of getting from a to b, but the actual point of enjoying my destination. this weekend has been wonderful, but as the holiday-ing (it's columbus day, a bank holiday) draws to a close, i'm definitely sad to see it go.

i've got big plans in the upcoming months: san francisco, arizona, and maybe next year we'll go to australia again. i've got a bug about it since i recently rediscovered my passport. yup.

as you may be able to discern from this none-too-thrilling post, i am very relaxed and sadly counting down the hours (two more to go...) before the homeward journey begins. *sigh*

::oh, oregon!::

it's mighty pretty up here, and the fresh air induces 10 hour hibernation spells at night. i'm thoroughly enjoying the retreat @ my parent's gorgeous home which is sporting fresh landscaping these days. apart from the uber-creepy-former-horse-traders (aka New 'Noying Neighbors, or NNN for short), this area is nothing short of being God's country in my mind. (more on the neighbors later. or not. i wouldn't be mentioning names as i've learned that lesson the hard way!)

there's not a whole lot to do as form of entertainment, which often worries mom & dad in their desire to play the perfect host to their daughter who's finally come around from those squirrely late-teen years. me, on the other hand, i'm eating it up! there's always more than enough to do in the OC, so you won't find me complaining about a few days of r&r or forced relaxation.

that said, it's back to the lazy day for me. i think i'll make some brownies....

::saturday funnies::

Rules for Stray Cats

1. Stray cats will not be fed.

2. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food.

3. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.

4. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.

6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with, picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.

7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.

8. Stray cats with or without a name, will not be allowed inside the house at any time.

9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except at certain times.

10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except on days ending in "y".

11. Stray cats allowed inside, will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.

12. Stray cats will not be permitted to, jump up on or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.

13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture, but must sharpen
claws on new .99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece,
high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.

16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan, with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.

17. Stray cats will sleep outside.

18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.

20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.

21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with
non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.

22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.

24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the
covers.

25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers, except at the foot.

26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.

27. Stray cats will not play on the desk, near the computer.

28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk, when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hb USING IT.

thanks to sara in az for this timely email! woo hoo!

::"debt free by 28"::

i went to nathan cistone's funeral today. or, as it was aptly called, a celebration of nathan's life. this will be the second service i've attended within a three month period. i sit here wondering when it's going to sink in. not only the finality of death, but its untimeliness. death is never late, most would tend to agree. instead, it robs us of loved ones way too soon. before we have a chance to act. to change. to experience. to live differently than we are now. if you knew you were going to die, what would you change about your life? wake up! you are already dying, so don't wait another minute!

while it's eerie to write this dissertation on what i'm going through, i find it helpful & certainly appreciate the chance to unload on the Reader, friend or stranger alike. i thank you for humoring me.

what's hitting me like a ton of bricks, apart from the grief i'm experiencing & the sadness i'm surrounded by as friends mourn the passing of a truly inspired & motivated individual, is that whole "we were the same age" phenomena. this is truly something i didn't expect to experience until, say, my forties or fifties. not that i would be expecting death at that time, however, it certainly seems more likely than now, when i'm only 27.

i feel pressed to act. when josh lost his good friend rick about 7 years ago (shortly after we met), he vowed to record more music. he has. i'm wondering if i can be so motivated to act upon the fears and the desires which lie deep in my heart. i want to write more. i want to complain less. i want to love my friends more. i want to make my life more meaningful. i suppose that might sound superficial, however, it started off as "i want to feel as though my life is more meaningful." --which is different, you see.

nathan was hugely motivated, hence the titling of this post. his aunt shared a beautiful & touching recollection of how she & nate's brother were sorting through his things in his efficiency up in the bay area. all throughout his home were inspirational/motivational quotes (that being one of them), pictures of his friends & family, and the bare essentials for living. he was involved with his community & his church. he wasn't afraid to be himself: how often do we live our lives in fear of what other's think? nathan was fearless. he had some struggles, but he overcame them and was so giving.

i'm so thankful to have known him.

...................................................................

in memorium scholarship fund

music was very important to nathan. he learned to play the violin, cello, saxophone, trombone, tuba, piano, and trumpet (many self-taught). his life was enriched beyond the elementary grades through music; for example, teaching him discipline. because of his love for music, the family has decided to set up a scholarship fund to focus on elementary school children whose families might not be able to afford to rent or purchase musical instruments.

please make checks payable to:
SVEF - The Cistone Family Music Fund

mailing address is:
The Cistone Family Music Fund
Saddleback Valley Educational Foundation
25631 Peter A. Hartman Way
Mission Viejo, CA 92691

::music of the week, etc.::

she's a little bit country...and a little bit adult contemporary, based on what i can divine from the itunes samples i've been browsing. however, she's got a pleasant voice and she sings in key. who knew? minnie driver is an actress and a singer!

the songs seem to lean in sarah mclachlan's direction, but sarah's got much more musician in her veins than minnie from what i can see. not much more detail to go on here. the thirty-second snippets didn't grab me enough to beg a second go and so i'd rather chalk this one up to those countless forgettable albums out there. i'm way too picky to give someone another chance unless i have previously experienced their brilliant musicianship. (should i apologize here, ms. driver? it's just not my schtick, i suppose. i'm not saying you're awful!)

changing gears, well, i have to give props to enid for nagging me about an upcoming concert at the coach house featuring gavin degraw. i finally dragged my fingers over the keyboard to do some research & i must say, the streaming music on his site, in combination with a wonderfully clean design, has me hugely intrigued! the music has a lot of soul, great rockin' rhythms (a solid rock n' roll drummer who's no dummy, that's for certain), and an overall attention-getting flare.

so, have i mentioned enid before? i believe i have, she is my sister music-phile who happened to sit next to me in speech class from day one and we now torture our hubbies with "where is she?" worries as we chat & lollygag after class. ok, that's an exaggeration. it's wonderful though: she is so excited about music! i wasn't really expecting to meet someone who intrigued me as much, but such are the benefits of attending night classes: more grown-ups. woot!

p.s. enid, if you're reading this, it appears the concert is sold out @ the coach house & @ the house of blues. can i please hide in your purse that day???

::vegas, baby::

oh so excited about the latest & greatest from cirque du soleil. cirque's website is certainly one of the most beautiful sites i have seen recently: rich in color & oh so vibey.

yum.

::home.work::

josh:   so, how can i help you get your homework done? how can i make sure you are doing what you're supposed to be doing?

me:     well, first i need to be fed and bathed...

josh:   what are you, now, 80???

::do-over::

well, after must procrastinating and a strong affection for green, i give you this: ta da! new and, er,...let's just stick with new. avoiding all clichés. now with more fiber. helping to lower your cholesterol more than a bowl of cheerios.

comments? questions?

::saturday funnies::

i failed to bring home work's latest & greatest in terms of dress code for everyone to laugh at this weekend. However, there is one line in particular that sticks out in my head:

Appropriate undergarments must be worn at all times.

yessir, will there be a daily inspection as well? Everyone is asking!