::word::

from the annals of elimidate:

"when you look this good, you don't have to be that smart"

this kinda trash talk is addictive: so much fodder for my creative writing skillz. i think.

::not for the weary::

encouraged by pal erin to give it a go, i went to my first yoga class at the gym yesterday. though only three minutes late, i was definitely on the cusp of convincing myself not to walk in the classroom. finally, joined by a late classmate at the door, we strode in together & i threw down my mat in the front of the classroom. first impressions being lasting, i swiftly realized after a few downward dog and warrior poses that this class was absolutely not about slow movements and oooooom-sounds. this class was literally kicking my ass and the clock ticked away about 10 minutes and my arms grew weary of holding me up. i have zero upper-body strength, you see, and therefore even push-ups would only last about three-seconds in a normal day. thankfully, there was a whole slew of yoga-ites in the room to silently encourage me to hold odd positions and not run from the room screaming "it hurts! it hurts!"

minutes after the class, walking to the restroom, washing my hands...water was still dripping from my fingers as i eyed the electric dryer on the wall. it glared at me. challenging me. daring me to reach up an touch its shiny silver button. i tried. i eventually leaned my shoulder against the knob to turn the thing on. warm air flowed on my hands and i tried to rub them together like you're supposed to.

today, typing this, my shoulder are protesting most movement--even that which comes naturally to a writer. and i wonder how i'm going to do my hair and smile as i realize it's short and bed-head is in.

::making me cringe::

working on the computer, i've been bouncing back and forth between the news and bad, early evening programming on tv to keep me company. though distracted by the listings for sectional sofas on craigslist, i managed to hear the phrase "...she's just trying to prove she's a better maker-outer" and, well, just about hurled all over the keyboard. yes, this exercise in intelligence comes from the highly educated programming of upn and the show is called "elimiDATE". woah.

next comes a show called "dance 360" (three-six-oh! bust a move!). yea, another demonstration in intellectually challenging material where i witness the host ask an overweight, african american gentleman if he watched a lot of rerun on "what's happening!!" to pickup his smooth moves. again, more near puking commences and i have to shake my head and wonder what the world is coming to, a la revelations (which i haven't watched any of, just so we're clear on that). the ew!-change-the-channel! moment came as i witnessed two guys (complete strangers, mind you) in a dance off: one guy was hopping around in a handstand and suddenly the other guy starts shimmying up next to him. i literally shouted "ew!" and grabbed for the remote. i think i need to take a shower.

::the yawning and the duchess of b______::

trying to stay conscious after an evening of indian cuisine and a bottle of belgian beer is, for me, like sleepwalking. thankfully i know my job duties well enough that i'm able to get through a half-day without difficulty. this morning has gone off without a hitch thus far, and so begins the countdown to vacation and yet another trip to nyc. the only low point for a saturday was the customer who complained when i wouldn't cash a paycheck for an amount greater than her balance. while i sympathized with her situation, something other than her smart remark about how helpful i was may have moved me to leniency. her name tag boasted employment at denny's, so i forgive her disgruntled behavior. i would be grumpy slumming it at a job like that, constantly barraged by rude customers complaining about runny eggs or burnt toast and tipping a penny to make a point of the lack of service. that said, part of me understands her attitude. but kindness wins my empathy in the long run, so she left in a huff. and i decided not to bend the rules.

i've made the decision recently to let my job take a back in seat in my life in favor of less stress. i've stepped down from my responsibilities as a new accounts rep/teller to "just a teller". with any luck, i'll become a stellar one as i focus my work hours on that task. in coming months i'll need to concentrate on making my application to uci as wonderful as possible and pray for a swift and affimative admissions letter. yeah! upper division coursework!

did i mention i aced math this semester?

::le bon fin::

the semester closed its eyes in happy victory when my teacher whispered "you missed one" as she read the results on my scantron. praise God! i almost did the happy dance right then and there. this means i got an "a" in statistics: my first "a" in math since i was, oh, in junior high. i owe a great deal to my prof, patty, who taught passionately and proficiently. which is amazing and highly necessary for motivating students in a night class.

this morning has been spent in the glory of contemplating my navel and eating eggs. i'll be meeting up with my sister and the nephews later for dinner. and i've been surfing the 'net only to come across my new favorite store for furnishings and wish i had about $10,000 for an extreme makeover on our wonderfully underdone abode. new carpet, paint, cool furniture. yeah. in the meantime i live vicariously through magazines like the brit's "living etc." or "real simple" or aged issues of "better homes and gardens".

::my head sounds like that::

living & breathing is holding me back right now, and about the only thing to make me smile, apart from josh sporting that polo i gave him for his birthday (days early: i just can't hold a present hostage. christmas just about does me in with all that waiting...) is the fact that kidchamp added comments to her blog and someone responded under the pseudonym "unfrozen caveman lawyer" (rip phil hartman). that sketch ranks up there with "the falconer" in my book.

actually, what's truly holding me back is this headache i've had for days now, and it's been hitting me off & on, usually at four in the afternoon. only yesterday it went to bed with me and i still haven't been able to shake it this morning. that said, i've been unable to focus on important tasks like studying for finals and cleaning house. it's this constant annoyance that grips the front of my head and tenses up my shoulders and blurs my thoughts. with any luck, my chiropracter can give me some crack which will banish the headache from my head. lucky me: i nabbed his last appointment this morning.

::dmb + iTunes = finally!::

ah, yes, dave matthews band has finally wised up to the ways of iTunes: you've made me so proud!

::not for sale::

last night on las vegas, jon lovitz played a character who plans to buy the montecito (the fictional hotel in vegas where the show takes place).

this morning, i check my email and find this:

Hello

I want to buy your domain www.furiousmuse.com. I'm only interested in the domain not in your content, so you can get a good price and move your content to another domain. If you are interested please respond to this e-mail.

Regards,

B_______ J_______

although i am highly amused at this offer, the 'muse is not for sale.

::giddy over d::

great and wonderous things are happening on the 'muse! there are days when i login to blogger and select "create new post" and stare, blankly, for minutes at at time. or hours. or, before hours go by, i logout and wander off to other interests. but today! woah! today i discovered how really necessary it is to find a way to parse through all my referrer logs because i surely would have discovered this sooner. the brilliant Mr. David Duchovny has linked to my site via his blog and i feel as though i've gone off and won the lottery! daaang!

that said, and david i do thank you for the honorable mention, i finally made it to house of d this past weekend. i do admit to a somewhat "tail tucked between her legs" feeling as i purchased tickets when i intended to show up for the premiere in LA (who can think of a better excuse to treat herself to lunch at the french crepe company at the farmers market next to the grove?). but, at last! schedules were cleared and in spite of finals coming up next week, there i was.

and josh & i walked into the theater and we were ALL BY OURSELVES. and my heart just about broke because i understand, through duchovny's blog, how painstaking the process is to give birth to a film. and i have immense respect for his abilities. even dating back to his twin peaks days as agent dennis UH-HUM denise bryson (you were so great!).

without taking notes, relying solely on my recollection of the film and immediate impressions, i tell you this movie truly deserves more impressive recognition than it is receiving. the writing is solid: the character development is thorough in this heartfelt coming-of-age story. and i almost think that's what bothered the critics most. i've read a handful of reviews and it boils down to the recurring claim that the story is contrived and not believable. well, sure it's going to have elements of disbelief. but i'm really ticked at mick lasalle, who's panned movies such as northfork, big fish, x2: xmen united, cast away, and casino and applauded analyze this. his review of house of d proves to me that you can only review for you, but i think big time movie reviewers must get paid to cater to the world-at-large and not the man-of-discerning-tastes. this is a movie for the literate mind, as has also been said, and if you like to read, you should go see this and make your own decision. you won't regret the investment and you'll be supporting a noteworthy film in the process.

spread the word. tell your friends. see it again.

::whatcha gonna do?::

i'm a bit sour today over what happened at work. a customer pointed out that a man was laying on the ground in our parking lot. his words were "it doesn't look very good for business" but all i could think was his tendency to point out our office's shortcomings in decor or personnel. he's a nice gentleman, really, but i kind of felt put off by his whole "i'm telling you you've got a problem and you should take care of it". there are a lot of people in our neighborhood who are destitute. a handful of people are regular fixtures either in our lobby or when i walk to the donut shop (oh how guilty i feel getting my sweet fix with chocolate crullers). it's an unusual occurrence for south orange county, home to a population which is generally wealthy or upper middle class. needless to say, i couldn't very well ignore the fact that he was on the ground laying on the asphalt in broad daylight. so i asked for a second opinion: call the sheriff's department or call 911?

so i called 911 and explained the situation and the dispatcher said he would send someone over to check it out.

let me first explain that our office is literally a stone's throw from the fire department. our days are punctuated by sirens throughout the work day, to the point where sirens or the wailing of a passing train have blended into the buzz of the background. but when that cautionary tone blared out this morning, i balked. that's NOT headed here. please say their not coming here. and into our parking lot the paramedic and fire truck bellowed fiercely, swiftly coming to a halt in front of the body of the man laying on the hot black pavement.

what happened following their initial examination escapes me.
first glance: 3 firemen, looking bored, leaning against the fire truck
second glance: fire truck leaves, paramedic hangs out
third glance: police car shows up, and the man is standing in front of the cruiser. we realize that the man is a customer. one who usually comes in reeking of alcohol at any time of day.
fourth glance: the policeman puts the man in the back of his car and fills out paperwork.

and when he left i thought to myself i just got that man arrested! and i felt bad for a while. i thought maybe there could have been another outcome, since the man wasn't actually hurting someone directly except for the man who thought he was an eyesore. or, maybe this will be a turning point and the man will snap out of this unfortunate direction he's headed in.

and that was how my day was. hopefully tonight is better.

::remembrance::

it's time to ready for work, but not without a quick flash-back friday event. sifting through a box of cassette tapes (cassetty whatty?) i came across some pretty amusing things. not only my old high school mix tapes, but ones made for a trip to las vegas, one for my friends' band woodface, and a tape of me playing piano. the description reads:

Engineered & performed by Sara
Parker on 12/28/94

Phantom Medley, Webber *arr, by Sara
Concerto no. 3 in D Major Kabalevsky
Fur Elise, Beethoven
St. Elmo's Fire, Foster
Etude No. 2 in g minor, Moszkowski
Piano Piece in b minor, Berg
Fantasia, Bach, C.P.E.
All I Ask of You, Webber
Music Box Dancer, Frank Mills
Remembrance, Parker

and if i recall, my parents made me record this tape. and i think i did it rather begrudgingly. but, 11 years later, all i can think is "wow, i could really play!" and in the split second i type that, i sadly note that i am speaking in the past tense and how much that bothers me. so much so that i think i'm almost ready to give up neopets altogether (sorry mom!) in order to pursue this desire in my heart to write and play piano and knit and cook and clean and study and exercise (among other things). how much does the heart crave these things? how much is it going to take? how much regret before there's no reversing the pattern i've begun to set in my lazy ways? i could, after all, be a fantastic human being, not constantly parked on my butt in front of the computer, tapping and clicking and headachy and red-eyed and brainlessly bored to tears with unstimulation. there is so much more to this life! get up! get moving! get gone!

these admonishments are personal, you know, but is there something in your life that you just want to tear apart for the sheer laziness of it? i think we've all got our achilles heel. get after it!

::cinco de mayo!::

i consider it a joke in poor taste and an insult to my intelligence when merriam-webster sent me my word of the day:

tamale \tuh-MAH-lee\ noun: cornmeal dough rolled with ground meat or beans seasoned usually with chili, wrapped usually in corn husks, and steamed

i am no longer a subscriber.

perhaps its just the californian in me, but who DOESN'T know what a tamale is?

::enjoy the silence::

i have two more weeks until school is done, hence the vacant lot feel on the 'muse. i've been too sidetracked to really come out with a decent post, but i've been practicing my freewriting and it feels good. this whole summer will be dedicated to my writing. whee!