10.31.2005

october 2005 archive

Monday, October 31, 2005

poised

minutes to spare and i've finished my sociology homework at the eleventh hour yet again. the clock stares at me, taunting "it's almost midnight". and, i feel compelled. bjork is hunting in my eardrums, and i think i'm going to start my novelling. ready, set... go!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

re-united

my 10-year reunion last night is full of juicy morsels. i don't really have time to post much of the details, save for the fact that our school's "it girl" (you know who i'm talking about) called me a "naughty little number" for some innocuous reason. it was quite amusing.

despite the high cost of attendance, it was full of everything you could want from a get-together with former classmates: chicken marsala, an open bar, a really long video montage with songs like "eye of the tiger" and "forever young", and a dj circa 1989 (did we really want to hear "brass monkey" and "the humpty hump"?). i should have known what was coming when we had this exchange:
me: do you have beck? two turntables & a microphone?
dj: baby got back?
me (louder): no! beck! two turntables & a microphone!
dj: i'll look into that.
yeah, he looked REAL hard. overall, it was worth it. i got me some writing fodder. and a classic keepsake/memory book. you know: a spiral bound booklet about the size of a steno pad with black & white scanned photos and self-written bios. on those, my favorite came from an alum whose occupation is "entertainment, fashion". when asked what she's been up to the past 10 years, she wrote: "i like light bulbs, protazoa, glue".

i've spent about 5 minutes trying to come up with some hip witticism to offset that and i just can't do it.

Friday, October 28, 2005

broadcast

a totally rockin' show last night, but too crowded for me. standing-room shows are pretty common for small venues, but the cramped quarters & pushing kind of grate on me after a while. in addition, the show didn't actually start until about 11:40 at night. while this is fun, it's hard to stay awake after working all day and coming home to the couch and the cats and 3 episodes of various law & order spinoffs (2 criminal intent, 1 svu). i'm kicking myself for not being more disciplined about my homework & wonder about next month's noveling. i think i'll just give up the tv altogether. blogging may be a bit slim, too, considering all the stuff i've got going anyway.
as a side note, i've uploaded a bunch of photos on flickr this morning (in random order, i might add--some of the "most recent" are actually a couple weeks old!). i hope to have many tales to tell after being reunited with long lost alums. Posted by Picasa

Thursday, October 27, 2005

the nordstroms piano phenomenon

dear reader, be warned. radiohead is cool. listening to richard clayderman do radiohead is NOT cool. therefore i beg you: by all means avoid christopher o'riley's radiohead "tributes". it is a fallacy and the man should be whipped with a thousand wet noodles. i think if i brought the album home to my parents, even they would say they like radiohead. and that, well, that's just sick. not to mention darned near impossible.



i failed to mention here that if you're really hankering for radiohead sans voice, brad mehldau is the ticket. he's played at largo in LA a number of times and is an incroyable jazz pianist. highly recommended.

NaNoWriMo

i've officially committed. are there any readers out there on the 'net who are also participating in National Novel Writing Month in november? if so, brave souls, leave a note in the comments box. and, if you've even been contemplating it, i encourage you to give it a go: i don't even think i broke 3,000 words last year. however, i've picked up chris baty's "no plot? no problem!" and cruised through 30% of it on my day off. it's very encouraging & an easy read. and, it's not as though i don't have a busy schedule as it is, but there's something very romantic about the whole noveling thing.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

goooo anteaters!!!

it's official...

uci just deemed me worthy of joining the ranks of undergrads at their insitution!

i'm giddy with glee! for those of you who deserved a personal phone call (there are several of you) my apologies! the kaleidescope of change in front of me is outstanding!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

labor of love

i'm pregnant. with hope. for uci to love me.

i don't know that many things in life get me worked up as much as this. i will be hearing from uci between now and the 31st.

it's been an interesting month not to post as much as i typically do, but i won't deny the reprieve is doing me good. school has been beating me up on a regular basis, and with those 5am feedings for the kitties (i've learned to lock the door & fall asleep poste-haste) i think everything is just blurring right by me. somewhere in my head it's december already & i wake up wondering what happened to my homework and why none of the holiday shopping is done. folks, it's gonna be an amazon christmas. you can bet your bottom dollar. or, if you get memorablia that says "paul mccartney" or "u2" or "broadcast", you'll know where i've been. all those ambitions to knit everyone beautiful scarves is lost: who has the time when i'm either typing or thumbing through text books! honestly!

as it is, we have a wedding this saturday and i need to get a gift, a dress (wearable now & next august: congrats to lauren!), and a card. oh yeah, and all that homework??? argh.

so, needless to say, i'm busy, but generally doing good with life. for the first time in a while, i can look around at our comfy & cluttered abode and relax (unless i think moxie's sneaking about on the kitchen counter again). i am content with paul mccartney singing in the background & blogging on my iBook & the prospect of working 19.5 hours with the bank and going to school. in general, i have a great deal to be thankful for and i'm learning more & more to count these blessings. i think this is the peace that passes all understanding. it's certainly not anything i've done.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

silence is...golden?

i wish i could just get over it. but i haven't heard from uci and wait, that means this post shouldn't exist.

darn you, socks! darn you!

sociology is a beast and i think i missed my midnight cutoff for the paper. e-gads! there go my straight-A dreams (i haven't gotten those since junior high though. so, who am i kidding. i'll take a B!).

moxie lost his first tooth.

i celebrated the nephews birthday at disneyland (go ahead--no wonder the paper didn't get done in time!). and i just remembered i didn't call him yesterday. e-gads! i'm a bad auntie!

i got a B on my geography midterm. yeah! B!

i did some laundry. i put it in a basket. i failed to fold the unmentionables & the whites are still in the dryer.

the job front is shifting. more later: i'm not sure where i'm headed, if anywhere. update: i'm staying with my current employer, same office, and reducing my hours. it's a win-win situation (except for my coworker, who is leaving because of working 2 jobs and taking a full load of classes. she will be missed!)

i forgot to take my tea with me to work. angel's dream tea! ah, reverie.

i have a new tinker bell travel mug. i love it. she is everything i am not.

i have to go empty the cat box before i go to bed.

it's cold in here. josh is asleep in the other room and the air i'm sucking in through my nose might as well crystalize and form icicles in my nostrils.

i need a haircut. a massage. a chiropractic adjustment. and maybe some good acupuncture.

i don't care about proofing this post.

i do care about ditching my daniel lanois tickets. i think my craigslist buyer fell through and the show is on saturday. any takers in the oc? email me @ muse [at] furiousmuse dot com. i'm going to a wedding instead. 4 tickets @ $25/each (slightly discounted from the ticketmaster price) altogether or in pairs.

i'm going to bed now.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

survey

just a brief post...my last until i hear from uci. my friend's brother's girlfriend (...) is at usc and needs responses to a survey about blogging. if you would be so kind to take about 7 minutes of your time to go here to fill it out. it concerns blogging and various sources from which you gather your news.

thanks!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

it's a revolution

josh & i saw sigur ros last night at the hollywood bowl. were it not for our friend justin, i would never have thought to purchase tickets. the show was amazing and leaves me reeling in its wake. if you're feeling cheeky, check out this video for a sample of their brilliance in composition, both in film & sound. i hope you have broadband.

i'm on watch/listen to the video number three as i write this because i just can't get enough. i don't normally jest about musicians i admire, but i did (jokingly) ask josh if the lead singer is a castrato. he sits vocally in his falsetto range the entire duration of the set and it's mildly unnerving to think that a boy can sing higher than i can (not that i'm much of a singer, but my ambitions are such that i might one day hit that high note christine is scripted for in lloyd webber's phantom of the opera).

jonsi played amazing guitar: he frequently used a bow to drone out growly electric tones from his...oh, don't even make me guess what kind of electric guitar it was. but it was so...cool. see how dumb my writing gets when i try to express my appreciation for music? when georg grabbed a stick and began pulsing out single note bass rhythms, i melted. ever a fan of the minimalist school, i latched on instantly to that and orri's mad, mad drumming. it would be unfair to overlook kjarri's talent on the keyboards which, though seemingly indistinguishable among a grouping of more prominent instruments, would be missed if he went awol mid-performance. to complement the group further, the icelandic band was joined by their cohorts, the amina string quartet. so much talent in their adept fingers, hands, and wrists. they executed complex rhythms and plucked ferociously during one the the pieces and it weaved all the music together so perfectly. i am simply in awe of the accomplishment i witnessed at the 'bowl. it leaves me stupefied. and perfectly stupid with words which fail to capture the absolute truths i seek to express. if you're in doubt, go to their site and download some of their work and judge for yourself. (and, if you're still in doubt after that, meet me back at this post and we'll duke it out in the comments box, sucka!)

again, i will proclaim that music students a decade from now will be studying bjork, sigur ros, and radiohead based on the innovations they are making to modern composition. i've studied enough theory in my former days as a music major to know this. and, if my predictions are false, then shame on those textbook authors and the creators of curriculum. it would be an absolute travesty, an offense to all things sacred in the world of music.

i feel so strongly about music sometimes i wonder if i shouldn't be majoring in it: music history or something that doesn't necessarily expect a dedicated person to perform like a trained monkey at the sound of a buzzer. it's not as though i don't enjoy performing, mind you, but the pressure i felt as a teenager left a bad taste in my mouth. but my love of music goes so far beyond words: it burrowed into the caverns of my soul and took up residence so long ago that i almost feel as though i might die without my ability to enjoy it. to feast on it like a wonderful piece of ripe fruit which has been perfectly formed and warmed by the sun on cool days until it reaches such perfection that it drips from your mouth with a sweetness so crystal clear that your taste buds want to sing & dance with delight at the pristine flavor. and i look at my analogy & laugh because i still realize that it doesn't come close to respecting my love for music!

right now, i'm so in love with sigur ros. the new paul mccartney album may be a little lonely for a while (but i like that one, too!). go check them out.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

inchoate

it's the end of the year, but i feel as though i'm in the beginning stages of this major flux in my life and the closer It gets (aka The Letter from UCI), the more nerve-wrecked (yes, wrecked) i am.

work has been weird lately. not work itself, but customers. one guy was behaving so badly that we phoned the police. he was raising his voice & ordering us around and i felt SO uncomfortable. the emotion has burned off now that 5 or 6 days have passed since that event and i've moved on. but i was really burned up about it for a good 5 hours after it happened. no one wants the police to come into their work, i don't care who you work for: it's never a good sign.

then there's that random woman who refuses to let me help her. and i just can't think what i did to offend her. i wish she'd give me a chance to make amends. instead, i just stand there in stupified silence, looking dejected and disappointed. until the next customer comes along and then everything is fine. (i realize this is totally & completely the woman's method of thought: what did i do ? it must be my fault! truth is, it's absolutely a mystery. so i'm not going to worry about it.)

dino's in town again, which hannah & max in tow, which is great. our house is a few significant degrees cleaner because of it. yea, us!

i want to hear from UCI sooner, not later. i want to cease living in limbo. i want to have a firm path before me and know where i'm going.

i want to go...to bed.

Monday, October 03, 2005

drive-by confessional #1

i know my account's overdrawn...i started doing doing drugs and...now i'm in rehab.



allow me to clarify: i have nicknamed my teller window the "drive-by confessional", and this was actually said TO ME today. sorry, e-dogg, no such "excitement" going on in my life.

sociology nightmares

last night/this morning i dreamt that i had 20 minutes to take my online test and that i failed. which is why i'm up at 5am. crazy life, indeed!

6:38 am: so i just took the test (it's an online class) and i got an 86% on it. and now it's done with and i can decidedly NOT stress out for the rest of the day. yea!

9.30.2005

september 2005 archive

Friday, September 30, 2005

overheard

"ok, so now we're going to go to pick up your pictures and run some other errands in the area, you'll get your pedicure, and then we can go home!"

oh, by the way, this was said to a girl of about ten.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

uninvited

we've guests again. relatives. they're in the kitchen. i've been feeding them all day long and, out of respect, locked the cats up so they can't be bothered. but MAN how i wish those freakin' ants would just disappear! for good!

i've had too much homework to continue photo-blogging, and i'm expecting an answer from uci by the end of october. i don't know how that relates to photo-blogging, but that's ok, you're tracking with me, right?

still trying to write and keep up with homework. argh. my mind is so spacey. this has to be the worst post ever. just maybe.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

once more, with feeling

oh, i feel sorry for my mom. she's finally joined the ranks of Those-Who-Must-Go-To-Shelters/Rescues-To-Adopt-A-Cat (in the past 20 years, all of her cats adopted Her. lucky!) so she brought home a cat, and it proceeded to do its business anywhere but the litter box. after 3 unsuccessful attempts at using the appropriate means of disposing of his waste, mom is returning the cat. it's just a little much to start of a relationship with an incontinent cat for her and i'm a bit bummed at the cat: he has no idea what he's missing out on by misbehaving.

i'm still awaiting news from uci & trying to wade my way through a busy schedule and massive pounds of reading for my classes. i've finally asked about cutting my hours at work, but i'm not sure what only 5 hours will do for me. i have been so overwhelmed this past month, and now that i don't have rehearsals on wednesday nights anymore, i can hopefully breathe a little easier.

moxie gets, UHhum, fixed tomorrow. i'm really hoping this minimizes my 5am wake-up calls. in the end, though, i'm thinking i should just give in and get up. i might actually get more done this way. i got about 5 hours of definite "sleep" last night, but after that, it was hit-and-miss till about 7am. i don't mind it, really. my body has been adjusting to this new-fangeled alarm clock for a few weeks and i kind of like getting things done with the extra time. maybe i'll even start going to the gym before work. hummm. it's nice to work things to my advantage if i can.

life is pretty uneventful otherwise. my bio for my high school reunion is due in a few short days and i'm currently listening to the cutting crew--yea for the eighties. yep. i lead the common life.

Friday, September 23, 2005

4+3=7

i'm heading to the triple-digit region of california today & not exactly looking forward to enjoying the weather. the cats woke me up at 5:30 this morning, but i was sort of counting on that so that i could get a few things done. i can't believe (pause). ok, what was i thinking to write? ah, 5 hours of sleep...i must remember to pack my pillow!

i'm also got strange ambitions about hitting the gym here in a bit--i just ate a "luna" energy bar. dude, there is just way too my scattered-brains running in my head at this wee hour.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

get up, get behind

i think i've been awake since 5am. which either means that i'm requiring less sleep these days since i went to bed at 11:30-midnight-ish (please note, going to bed is not always defined to falling asleep). i blame a multitude of things on my insomnia. i have three cats, one of which likes to dance on my head when he's hungry (moxie). the little grey monster is also prone to fits of grooming. sweet as this appears between other felines, it actually involves a lot of tugging & back & forrth shaking of the head. ah, the joys of pet ownership.

this morning i had a lot to accomplish. i'm currently at the dealership, parasiting their (weak/fluxuating) wireless connectivity and determinely avoiding my sociology homework. my sister's birthday is tomorrow & so i'm going to visit her on my day off. the dawn has proved difficult for me. not only was my most direct route hampered by a downed power line, but i passed a shopping center where a delivery truck had apparently caught fire in the loading docks. it's been an interesting morning.

josh was still in bed when i left. for that, i am impeccably jealous. still, he woke up with me around 5:00 & we discussed the various things that were stressing us out and i was able to experience some twilight sleep for about the next hour before the cats coaxed me down to the kitchen for some food.

in other news, J.D. is the new INXS singer. a shout out to Mig: i loved your performance of queen's bohemian rhapsody!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

together again

i would be hard-pressed to deny the anxiety that plagues me as i ponder my upcoming high school reunion. bios are due by the end of the month. not only has that been the subject of recent writing group debate, but it has been deliberately avoided by me in order that i may happily tag on the phrase "will be attending UCI in January". time is short, however, and i wonder, can't i just write it that way after all? if life is measured in major events, no one wants to know that i've been enrolled in junior college for the past 10 years, nor that i have three cats and that i just bruised my big toe so bad that the nail fell off. actually it was sort of coaxed off in a fit of boredom, save for a tiny bit that is still painfully attached to my skin. the nail won't have grown back in time for display in open-toed shoes, and i probably won't have abs of steel, but i'm dragging josh along for dinner with some friends who have committed their hard-earned money to this over-priced hotel meal (prediction: dinner roles, salad with italian dressing, chicken piccata with steamed vegetables and mashed potatoes, and nameless dessert item) for various reasons of camraderie or discomfort. me, i'm just hoping to get the scoop so i can write about it.

if anyone out there is like me, they sometimes still feel like a child (if they don't have kids of their own) and they wonder at their accomplishments and how 10 years flew by so quickly. speaking of which, i should make an appointment to have alyssa style my hair that day. i'm growing it out & would hate for it to look, well, like the 10 minutes i spent on it this morning.

yoshimi, patricia, emily, niall, and hopefully sara & bill, you're the ones keeping me sane. God bless you! we'll have to sneek the others in after dinner....

Saturday, September 17, 2005

elizabethtown

cameron crowe is my new hero. on apple's home page, there is a featurette where he discuses his new film & how it is circled around music & how the songs helped shape the movie. it is AWESOME, and gives me chills to witness another person react to music with a similar passion as the one i have always held in my heart. if i could memorize his narrative, i would keep it in a book to look at again & again. newfound respect to you, mr. crowe. you can bet i'll be seeing this flick when it hits theaters in a few weeks (october 14).

Thursday, September 15, 2005

collapse

i'm starting to get awful callouses on my hands from playing the djembe. that, plus this incredible soreness that just radiates on my entire hand. it hurts to count money today, something that is an unavoidable side effect of working at a bank. my discomfort aside, it's a wonderful privelege to be playing again. hopefully this will encourage me with my self-directed piano studies. but at this point, it almost hurts too much to type, so that'll have to wait. as will this blog.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

curses! foiled again!

as i mentioned yesterday, i was due to donate blood today. and, yet again, my hematocrit level is too low: 35 instead of the necessary 38 for a donor. this despite the multi-vitamin i've been taking faithfully for 2 weeks which equals 100% of the iron i'm supposed to be taking. i'm at a loss here. should i take more iron supplements? will my body discard the excess, or is too much actually bad for me?

this day has flown by at a swift clip with all i've got to do. the jetta needs a car wash and i haven't been to the gym in at least a month. homework deserves some attention as well. it's amazing how much my life is demanding of me these days. oh yeah, and that housework thing? my mom has taught me well. i'm considering maid service every other week, but my house has to be cleaned before they come over. thanks, mom!

ah, inherited idiosyncrasy.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

in excess

first, forgive me for not posting pictures on my foto log, i have been continuing to photograph daily, occasionally to the peril of other drivers, but things have been progressing pretty nicely if i do say so myself.

tonight i saw an ambulance on the road. it's the second or third time this has happened in recent weeks on evening drives home. it's eerie to stare through those two small windows in the rear and play the casual observer to the aftermath of an emergency. the lights weren't flashing in dire urgency, but tonight it seemed as though something was covering up part of the passenger's face, and i couldn't see anyone else back with him, but obviously there had to be an emt or two. the time before this, i was able to watch the men at work on a man who had a tube of oxygen straddling his nose.

i'm watching rock star: inxs right now and i really liked the performances tonight. i think mick looks like one of the monkees. humm. is his name mick? i think i heard it right. oh, oops, its mig. yep, outfit is very retro. oh my, he just ditched the jacket. no mo monkees!

i need to listen to some stones. rolling stones.

i love dave navarro's show-boating on the guitar. i think it's a good way to feel the chemistry for performers to be on stage together. you really get a feel for whether or not they will gel with your mates.

full day tomorrow. what should be a day off leaves no rest for the wicked: work meeting, doctor appointment, blood donation, and rehearsal. pray that i'm not anemic, as that is generally my hamartia when it comes to donating blood. sheesh, i better get some rest.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

i am trying to break your heart

watch the video that this links to. in the comfort of your home, if you will. (thanks, toni)

if only, if ONLY, i could learn not to complain about all the CLOTHES i have because i have so much washing to do, or not to complain about all the ANTS in MY HOUSE because of all the FOOD i have, or all the HOMEWORK i have to do because i have to go to SCHOOL, or about all the HOURS i'm WORKING because i have a JOB that pays the BILLS or about the HEADACHE i have because my BACK aches so i lie down in my BED and SLEEP so i can FEEL BETTER, or about cleaning the litter box because my THREE CATS are ALIVE & WELL, or about the COST OF GAS because i have a CAR that takes me where i want to go.

Friday, September 09, 2005

law & order?

this semester is going to kick my butt. friday night spent at orientation for my internet sociology course left my stomach churning. or was that the leftover saurkraut? lots of work required, high doses of procrastination highly discouraged.

so, who wants to do the laundry to-night? meh.

in other news, happy birthday, amy! last night was a blast!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

dot dot dot

today is my first post from my brand new iBook G4. i have the power of wireless at my fingertips.

today i learned:

-tom cruise's laughter on the television is disturbing
-our neighbors have a wireless network too, and it's not password protected
-our houses are way too close together here if i can tap into their network
-my website looks awful in safari
-blogger functions differently in safari
-my temporary dot mac account is a beautiful thing
-i can play the djembe with a pear-shaped shaker and sound pretty good
-when i try to play complicated rhythms i lose the beat in an awful way
-appleworks just blows chunks
-microsoft word is actually good for something.
-all my cats will beg for chicken
-in a fit of excitement, i will forget to shower & shave my legs & will stare at a computer until all the moisture has been sucked from my eye sockets
-tom cruise did NOT look sexy in that scene from "risky business"
-E true hollywood story makes me ill
-the importance of a "to do" list only stands true if you can cross a few things off
-i have a lot "to do" tomorrow
-"stickies" (post-it notes for your desktop) are a beautiful thing
-i can't wait to use iPhoto
-i may never use my pc (non-laptop windows-based computer) again

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

makin' mom proud...

...one packed lunch at a time. and i actually remembered to have breakfast this morning, too. now if only i would stop killing my plants. i will work on replanting some in the morning tomorrow. unless i get my cool new showerhead and have the chance to install it. oh, the joys of having a list!

by the way, i plead with you, dear reader, for a book recommendation! i need 9 more (for my list of 101 in 1001) AND 10 recommendations for films i should see. your help is greatly appreciated.

Monday, September 05, 2005

your love is gonna drown

death cab for cutie's new album, plans hit my ears recently because of a facination with the band name. i think, actually, it's because i think of the movie death to smoochy. i can't really explain the reasoning behind that, save for the common denomenator of the word "death".

i'm still in my incubation phase with the album. it's been hard to find my favorite 2 or 3. "i will follow you into the dark" is simple, with strumming guitar and vocals which throw one into a sort of iron & wine meets nickel creek as far as tone and feel. "your heart is an empty room" some quaint doves-like qualities with its steady drum beat and simple electric guitars. the instrumental bridge in the middle is nice. the quality of songs do pick up with "crooked teeth" and continue through the end, but that's a few too few for me. the album was, overall, "nice". favorite pick "someday you will be loved".

when i listen to music, i look to be moved to a degree which inspires me to dig into my magic hat of analogies and want to write about something. not like today. where i wrote mostly out of obligation (yep, part of 101 in 1001, #101). i want to find albums where i think "if i don't write about this and tell the world about how beautiful this album is then i just might die of shame". hopefully next month's review will be better.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

goings on

apart from the extremely painful waiting game regarding uci's response to my application for admission, life has been veritably normal. for the most part. i was recently recruited to do percussion at our church's women's retreat and last week's rehearsal, which followed this awful bout josh & i had with the stomach flu (thank God it only lasted 24 hours!), went swimmingly and i'm excited everyday for the opportunity to share my music skillz with others. it's also been yet another thing for me that's aided in turning me back toward my faith in God, which has been lacking in intensity for some time, sort of wallowing in the background with the stack of unfiled bank statements and piles of important stuff i've stuffed in a box "for later".

it's so easy to forget in times when life is going fairly well and it becomes this white noise in the background, which you are aware of some of the time but frequently experience as this sort of constant irritation that has to be tolerated, like a piece of cat litter trapped in your nylons. when you get home, you can take the nylons off and be at ease, but until then you keep shifting your toes around and fingering at the irritant in an effort to rid yourself of the reminder that indeed, there is cat litter in your stockings and it is not comfortable. only, the nylons aren't ever coming off because you made a decision one day that you had to keep that pebble in your pantyhose because it's something you've realized you can't live without. this analogy is falling to pieces, but you get the drift. i've sometimes wanted to go back to life before God, i confess. i think it was easier and harder all at once. while i experience a constant accountability for decisions i make, while i agree that it's possible to live a good life outside of the Christian faith, there's more to it than that.

so, part of my reasoning behind number 100 on my list of 101 in 1001 is a call to get back to basics. not only in an effort to clarify Christianity for myself, but with a desire to understand that this is not a rote effort on my part. i want to get to the point where i not only feel comfortable defining myself by my beliefs, but to clearly understand the reasons for my choice and be able to communicate with others who say to me "so what?" because this isn't an emotional choice. emotional choices are weakened by a shift of feelings and easily waste away against pressure. that's why marriages can't find sole support in a foundation of "i love you's". there needs be some brains behind it, a conscious effort to commit. and that's what i aim to define. it was there once, but it's fallen to the wayside and i need to bring it back into focus.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

in your eyes

American Red Cross, now accepting donations.

< soapbox> i'm not sure that sharing my feelings about the devastation will accomplish anything other than some sort of self-serving bragging rights about how, oh yeah, i feel bad for them, too. one would have to be inhuman not to be moved (to tears) by the tragic images we see on the television set or on the 'net as we sip our morning cup of coffee in our warm jammies and slippers with the family all nestled within these walls we call home. we wonder at the state of thie world, be it tragedy half-way across the world or in the middle of these united states. only a few months back, the victims of katrina were in their living rooms ooh-ing over the tsunami tragedy. now they are experiencing things first hand. so my challenge, then, is not only to myself as i gaze over my proud list of things to do is to dig deeper yet again and start living with a little bit less. while i can't ask you to put your own family in jeopardy, i will ask you if there isn't something you can do without in order to aid our fellow man. and, i'd like to see those famous ones get off their butts just like they did for tsunami aid: i wanna see sandra bullock's donation in the paper again. i wanna read about the FUNDS donated by those people who performed for "free" so that WE could support those in need. picture yourself stripped of all the basic human needs, all the creature comforts we take for granted. just do. something. anything. and, if you would, pray. in a time when these people have little or nothing, they need Hope. < /soapbox>

8.31.2005

august 2005 archive

Monday, August 29, 2005

yeah! it's leigh!

i'm oh-so-thankful i signed up to be on sixpence none the richer's email list back when they were a band. though i never had the opportunity to see them in concert, being part of their mailing list resulted in an email with a link to leigh nash's myspace site and a sampling of some of her new songs. there's a beautiful maturity going on here, and i'll happily await her album. just thought i'd share the link in case there are like-minded readers out there. her songs border on the more pop-type style, but she can do some really unusual things with chord changes that cause her to stand out above the usual chump-pop that's out there. hopefully there's some of that in the works on her up-and-coming album.

number 43

i have begun the photo log here, and i will do my very best not to bore you with too many pictures of my cats.

in other news, i'm still awaiting 9 recommended books (#31) and 10 films (#38) from my readers here on the 'muse. i know there are people out there reading this blog, so humor me why don't you.

thus far i'm really excited about my list of 101 in 1001 and definitely look forward to writing more. school just started last week and i'm awaiting the results of my application to uci on pins and needles. yea!

Friday, August 26, 2005

number 51 and 26

from 101 in 1001: sponsor a child through world vision
Congratulations! You have sponsored Xhenisa from Albania

Born: Mar 05, 1998
Grade: 1
Favorite Subject: Reading
Health: Good
Favorite Play: Toys
Gender: Girl
Chores: Too Young
Country: Albania

Xhenisa lives with her parents and 1 sister. Her parents struggle to provide for the family.

Xhenisa is growing up in the mountainous country of Albania. The village is very rural and poor. Their single floor homes are constructed of stones and sometimes logs or sticks, with mud for mortar. Farmers grow citrus fruit and vegetables. Bread and dairy products are also staple foods. This is a beautiful country with forests, mountains and lakes. Summers are hot and dry but the winters are cold.

Xhenisa is in primary school and she enjoys reading. She helps at home by learning to do small tasks. She likes to play with toys. She is in good health.

Your sponsorship commitment will help provide Xhenisa and her community with clean water and improved healthcare facilities. Your support will help your child receive a quality education. Farmers will learn to grow more food for their families. Community leaders will learn management and development skills. We are thankful for your commitment and your prayers so these precious children and their families are able to experience the love of God and life in all its fullness.

my former roommate kim does this and i always thought it was a great idea. the monthly donation for an indefinite period of time was a little scary to me, but i try to remind myself how fortunate i am to have as much as i do. i could stand to live with a little less "stuff". and considering #26 (save $5/day for the next 1001 days) i can't help but notice that i'll essentially have at least 4 times as much in my own pocket at the end of all this. ah, the irony of my struggles!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

weird things

i've had a lot of weird things happen at my teller window, but today was the kicker.

a woman began flossing as i processed her transaction.

let's just think on this for a while, shall we?

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

how long should it be?

well, amidst the pressures of composing 101 things to do in 1001 days, i happened across this site as i was looking for guidance with the 10 short stories i've proposed writing. i've never thought about how long a piece needs to be, apart from assignments i've been given. but here i am, looking for answers. though this website has an awful pink hue remeniscent of pepto bismol, i think there's probably a little here and there to be gleaned from it.

precious amigos


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Thursday, August 18, 2005

irvine, we have ignition

it's a slow-burn, the admissions process. namely the act of writing about myself in order to convince an unknown person that i am acceptable. two essays were written, trashed, and re-written about three times. i want to cry because:
--i love safari. it's the browser that cuts through apparent traffic jams that explorer and mozilla can't penetrate. i was trying to submit my application online and IE was completely deadlocked.

--my two great friends, erin & lauren, helped me cut to the chase on my essays and their hugely in-depth comments brought focus to my compositions. so what if my last "open-ended" essay capped at 133 words! i had nightmares about this. i kept editing myself so that i wouldn't be disqualified for missing the "about 200 words" mark so broadly

--i love my iBook. i carted it with me everywhere in my bulky new messenger bag. i sought refuge in bookstores and cafes and it did me good.

--coldplay sang "till kingdom come" through my iPod earbuds as the moment came to a close

--i haven't slept for nearly 21 hours

--josh. just, josh. he rocks.
it is finished. will update you with glorious news or the brutal truth in 3-4 weeks. there was a request to see my final essays tonight at dinner, but i haven't decided whether they belong here or not. would it invite plagiarism? i'm proud of my work, but i sure hope not. publishing it on the 'muse is still up for debate.

must.
sleep.

Monday, August 15, 2005

fly now, butterfly

it's absolutely unavoidable. wednesday is the day my uc application must be complete. and i'm reading and rereading my essays and trying to work out the best possible composition. as i'm doing this, i'm feeling incredibly inadequate. i'm trying to put my best foot forward, and i continually second-guess my abilities.

i'll be hitting my favorite cafe tonight for inspiration. yeah!

Saturday, August 13, 2005

ready, set, write!

not only do i have a weekend chock-full of essays and writing assignments to be completed, but i promise to continue ignoring the gardening in order to do so. though i have high hopes of having a green thumb one day, the pepper tree that's been planted by The Association on the corner sheds worse than my long-haired cat, requiring the discipline of someone who's willing to sweep once a week to avoid the patio looking like a long-abandoned forest floor. i'm willing, but unable to oblige with other commitments taking precedence. my ficus has been hearty enough to endure periods of neglect, but i'm not so sure about our bamboo plant. several leaves have browned and my generous serving of water may not do the trick.

my sister is in town for the weekend so she can attend a cookie lee convention. as i opened up the door last night to usher her in, i became distracted by the hundreds of ants swarming around my door frame and didn't really get around to hugging her for about a half an hour. her timing was fortunate for us, because how often does anyone examine their doors when they aren't expecting guests? also fortunate is the nearby grocery store which supplied us with ant spray and that i still had some terro ant bait on hand.

i hate ants with a passion unlike any other vile, abhorrent thing on this earth. well, almost.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

the joys of parenting

well, as luck would have it, monty appears to have an upper respiratory infection ($) and our trip to the vet last night produced a bill and some medication ($). last night i was awoken to the sound of moxie throwing up ($). gotta hand it to that kitten, he picked a very cleanable, rinsable place to do his business. as opposed to, say, upchucking under the bed. after breakfast this morning, mango threw up by the litter box ($). so i've called the vet and she'll call me back. chances are, all cats have the same virus ($)($)($).

i'm so glad i adopted another cat!

ed. note: dr. mckee wants to wait a little bit for more symptoms to show themselves rather than needlessly medicating them. good for her. (-$$)

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

meme

this one came to me via email from vicki, but i've decided it piqued my interest enough that it should go here as well.

Instructions: Go to Google and type in "(your name) is", inserting your name in the parantheses, and try to pick the 10 most interesting sentences to respond with.

i went for broke with an even dozen:
1. Sara is one of those girls who stand out in whatever they do, ...

2. SARA is used to control the spread of Macro viruses.

3. Sara is extremely shy. She used to be afraid of everything, people, cats, dogs, firehydrants, the wind, mailboxes, poles, tree branches, motorcycles, bikes, ...

4. Sara is an affectionate, cuddly girl who has a lot of love to share. ...

6. SARA is a subtle condition in most high-producing dairy herds.

7. SARA is located on 380 acres, which also serves as a refuge for wildlife.

8. Watch out Barbie! Sara is coming ...

9. But Sara is nonetheless the most pampered pupil in the school.

10. Sara is a forecaster, who sets benchmarks and clearly-definable goals;

11. SARA is being run from an untrusted host.

12. Sara is very pleased to be 32.
this site does something similar, but the manual procedures are infinitely more satisfying.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

boo-hoo

monty's been rather hoarse the past few days, a little lethargic, and had a brief coughing spell/asthma attack last night which leads me yet again to the vet's office (dr. mckee at moulton animal hospital is amazing. monty can be a pain in the a__.) anytime one of my cats is sick i start thinking of worst case scenarios. it's a sort of mental illness i think. just like when i picture myself dodging bullets matrix-style as i enter the vault at work and hurry to shut the metal door behind me should our bank ever been overtaken by robbers (have you seen heat? ohmegee!). needless to say i'm horrified at the potential diagnosis, the stress of the trip on my senior cat (he's seven), and whether or not he will pee on the doctor's examining table as they attempt to muzzle him.

jeers

...to the boys who woke me up at 2:30 in the morning running around by our house and talking loud enough to wake me from my slumbers. i chastized them from my window (though i mistook a plant for a boy because i was without my glasses) "what are you doing out there? you need to go home. it's late." but i never did fall asleep properly after that and my eyes are fuzzy and squinty today, with patches of pinkish-red to boot. as i pulled out from the garage this morning, however, i discovered that a house across the way had been toilet-papered something fierce. boys!

Monday, August 08, 2005

thinking...

...and googled this out of the blue. wow. i just shake my head, speechless.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

a la carte

i'm sure most or all writers understand the difficulties of motivation. procrastination is a childhood pal of mine i would like to kick to the curb. most of the time my delays are coupled with an inability to get started on a project. the project that most concerns me is that of my admissions essays. and i'm home right now (as opposed to hanging out with josh, who has a gig tonight) with the promise of working on my essays. there are so many distractions: the constant barrage of ants, a new kitty to care for, endless miles of housework. my body is sore from lack of movement and my eyes are tired for straining at the computer monitor. i could use a workout at the gym, but a promise is a promise. the essays are waiting and i just polished off a bag of fresh-boiled soybeans.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

crap

our bank was robbed yesterday. i'm relieved it was my day off, but i am sad for ann. ann!!! ergh. stupid bank robber....

doltish customer comment: did you guys close early yesterday?
me: no. we were robbed.
dcc: oh, yeah. i knew that.
yeah, and you're just a loser for trying to make a joke out of it!

later (same customer)...
me: may i see your i.d. for the cash back?
dcc: i've got my wife's i.d.!
me: you don't look like a "beverly"...
dcc: yeah. i lost her a while back.
me: (feeling like a complete real idiot) i'm sorry to hear that.
yeah, who's the loser now?

p.s. i just helped a woman and it was nearly "nipplegate" all over again. gimme a friggin' break! it's a BANK, not a BEACH!

let's fighting love (south park)

or, let's go to our ten year high school reunion. let's show up, with our army of friends, and just see what materializes.
game?
yep. and i'm a little insane because of the price (about $70/ticket). but my friends will be there, and we can look around the room and see if anyone's changed, reminisce about our teenage escapades, and eat chicken piccata with veggies, a dinner roll, salad, and old desert paired with lukewarm coffee. i hope i'm not romanticizing it too much.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

how much?

oh, dear reader, why doth thy futile searches bring thee to my door? the 'muse does not care "how much does jessica simpson weigh", and yet that's exactly what 77 readers tried to find out in the past 30 days when they ended up here. well, i'm sorry to disappoint, but i am thankful for the laugh.

other search terms that made me laugh this morning:

  • scarlet johansson boobs
  • why are californians rude
  • push ups give me a headache
  • fedex truck spoon
  • talk to me anytime