march 2004 archive

29 March 2004

::brand new day::

happy monday! i've been up since 6:30 without the alarm. i've fed the cats and started a load of laundry. i have a dentist appointment to go to later today. and the creamer, which i happily poured into my coffee yesterday, is dutifully expired. since march 21. eh, time to go shopping.

i'm not sure what got me up this early this morning, but maybe it was so i could hit the web and catch up with friends' sites. and that had to have been the best news of all as there is now this bizarre buzz of cheerfulness, and, hope in my head & heart. broken fences are being mended with friends from days past and if josh and i make it to new york before she moves again (graduate school!) then we will have someone to not only visit, but someone who can procure the back door to new york city for us. gosh, i've missed you.

28 March 2004

:: ah HA ::

ok, totally uncreative, but this has been a weekend of running errands.

today i found THIS, which i have deemed my new dream bedding. after gasping at the price tag, i promptly returned home to add it to my list of ebay favorites, which i will be emailed daily. i am almost as bad about bedding as i am about shoes & purses...i like lots of change. but, i'm not about to dump $1000 into a new collection. i may, however, consider working saturdays in san clemente (at my old branch, incidently) for some o.t. in order to achieve my dream. i know i'm not going to win the lottery...i don't even bother playing! so, let us be realistic....

josh & i also hit ikea and hemmed and hawed over this and that for the family room. which, absent of a fresh coat of paint that is not a shade of white, is nearly complete as far a decor goes. and, well, there is the matter of those temporary blinds, but, it's all in good time, yes?

oh, and i've been really good about not going on neopets--yeah me! i do stop in for the daily stuff, but that takes about 15 minutes. there's so much living to do! (and, so much house to clean! and laundry to wash! (uh, and fold... i have about 4-5 loads worth right now that needs folding on the bed.... i keep taking it off at bedtime & cramming it into a laundry basket!).

so, that's been me for the most part. the landscaping hasn't progressed much in the past week as they prepare to pour concrete, but that's ok. as long as they show up tomorrow.

well, back to the home type stuff (i may just HAVE to assemble our new furniture!!!). cheers!

27 March 2004

::saturday funnies::


For those with NO children-this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

Things I've learned from my Children:

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J; sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what the odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on ... plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade ... true story: One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of The Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,"... and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy crap! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

25. 60% of the men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

thank you to sarah in az... just in time for today!

23 March 2004

:: (i am) inspired again ::

last night's visit w/ dino, and my prompt snoozefest in the music studio till 2am has drilled into my subconscious something which i now realize in full force: i miss my music. the warmth of music spilling from dino, onto the piano, and into the microphone, has awakened in my the desire i have always had to write music. though i'm not certain where that will lead, garageband lessons will be the beginning of my happy adventuring. it's about time i started working on my "homework" (winks @ josh). ;)

on the flip side, i also realized how much i've missed this dear friend of ours, and how wonderful it was to exchange hugs and warm hellos with each other. dino is one of the first of josh's friends whom i met when we first started dating (or, "going steady" as some of you know the story). there are so many friends out there that i am so thankful to have, and it can be such a challenge to keep in touch with each other in today's crazy busy-ness. i am grateful for all of you, whether we see each other every day (best friend and husband, josh, is the only one who can claim that!) or once a year. it's just the point in living here, as i see it. human contact.

22 March 2004

:: you look nice in that suit ::

monty won't leave me alone tonight. though he has food in his dish, it isn't "new food" and therefore i am a bad mommy because i have not fed him this evening. though, perhaps by now he actually has stomthing to complain about. he's such a beautiful cat. i really need to get some pictures up here of him... one step at a time though. he's keeping me company at the moment, stretched out next to the computer.

very proud of myself tonight. i only spent an hour on neopets and i am hoping that addiction is coming under control. i mean, all things in moderation and such, this house has really suffered. i am discovering i do my best housecleaning on friday mornings, though i inevitably end up late for work because of that.

the landscaping is proceding nicely. the wall is stuccoed and with any luck they will be here tomorrow as they missed saturday and today. i wouldn't really call it missed, though, because i see how fast they are working. i will be very excited to have it finished. yeah! but, my association can still suck my toe as far as i'm concerned. they have nothing better to do than nit pick my pots to death! i mean, european architecture vs. terra cotta? give me a break!


i gave monty some food finally and now he saunters up the stairs and looks at me with a couple of encouraging meows. such a sweet cat.... i'm trying to find my mood tonight. supposed to go visit a good friend who moved to arizona and is in town down in san clemente, so i'm anxious to keep my momentum going. i haven't, nor has josh, seen him probably for close to 2 years maybe... back in the beginnings of our house, before there was a proper guest room (uh, er, there still isn't...the cat box stays in there!). anyhow, that makes me think that i should begin the lengthy task of republishing my site as it was before i took it down for all the drama it caused with former employer. it's amazing how much 2 years can do to a person. ... or, just a year. or, just a week. i feel as though i spend every day understanding more about myself and people around me. and hopefully one time i'll actually have some profound dissertation to offer that doesn't completely spill my guts to my reader. i mean, not that i don't mind getting a little personal once in a while, but i'm really just having a bit of difficulty, right this moment, coming up with something that resembles intelligent conversation. i can make sentences and words sound good together (i think so), but right now i'm not saying a thing! well, last week was a tough week for me and that's why i kept myself occupied and didn't write a lot.

on that note, dinner calls... i will ponder my navel and come back with more thoughts.

13 March 2004

::saturday funnies::

WARNING : Bread Is Dangerous

Important things to know for those who have been drawn unsuspectingly into the use of bread.

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. Bread is made from a substance called "dough". It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average person eats more bread than that in one month!

4. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average human life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

5. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread in their diets exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread, and given only water, begged for bread after as little as two days.

8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even meat loaf.

9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey, bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 250 degrees Celsius! That kind of heat can kill an adult in one minute.

12. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

1. No sale of bread to minors.

2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete with celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.

3. A 300 percent tax on all bread to pay for the societal ills we might choose associate with bread.

4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.

5. The establishment of "Bread-Free Zone" around schools.

10 March 2004

::who is she?::

there's a scene in my head, like something out of a movie. some wanna-be tragically hip twenty-something struggling with her own ideas amidst a handful of well executed mistakes. she sits a a computer, waiting for it to come. praying for some revelation as to the bigger picture of her. her life. she tries, badly, to impose her imaginings on other people. tries to be a writer, a musician, etching these things on her skin as if the imprint will bleed into her. a catalyst spurring her inspiration. she tries different clothes, different hairstyles, different friends. but today, it's just her. fingers newly freed from the harshness of acrylics, toes freshly painted, hair newly cut, colored and washed. she's no one else but herself. what does she want out of life? she flirts with depression & depressive behavior. contemplates calling those she left behind. suddenly reminded of why she left in the first place, she puts down the phone, deletes the first words of her email. all she can even begin with is "hi" or "hey" and then it seems worthless. you see, she's still painfully aware of the existence of these "others". but, you see, they did some leaving too. she cannot rewrite the past. she listens to music when she's feeling introspective. or when she's driving. she seeks her inspiration from personal experience, but this depresses her because it is so self-centered. lacks the imagination to figure out what someone else's life would be like.

who is she?

stay tuned for the next installment....

::when i'm by myself::

i miss the sound of josh moving in this house.
i lack the motivation to do housework.
i watch too much tv.
i play neopets till i'm about to go blind and my eyes are watery.
i forget to do errands.
i search cyberspace for other bodies to talk with. but i'm shy, so there's only a few i reach out to.
i dream.
i don't read.
i sit at my computer & try to blog. usually uncreative.
i surf the net.
i listen to music.
i shop itunes/ebay/half.com.
i talk to my cats.
i exercise.
i contemplate the unfinished landscaping. i don't think they came today....
i contemplate the nuts on our association. what is wrong with them?
i contemplate my navel.
i change into my pjs early and stay up late.
i forget to eat dinner.
i take bubble bathes in candlelight...which take 10 minutes to draw, and last 5 minutes after i get bored since there's no one to talk to.
i browse other blogs.
i just found a flea.
i contemplate vaccuuming.
i advantage my cats against fleas.
i bathe my cats if the weather is warm.
it is night, so i should wait for that.
i wonder if i just killed a flea.
i advantaged my cats about a month ago.
i eat chocolate chip cookies.
i avoid sleep.
i sleep.
i try to engage myself in any useful activity.
i am a lazy bum.
i am a crazed laundry fiend.
i avoid folding the clean laundry.
i stand, amazed, and wonder how so much kitty litter gets on the floor.
i wish for ... brilliance.
or, a book deal.
i wonder if i am old enough to ... no, i don't wonder. i am old enough. just experiencing a lot of firsts.
i try to be creative.
i avoid reading the 2 year collection of better homes & gardens. i subscribed because of some door-to-door sales-woman and i've never cracked open the cover to do anything.
i get bored.
sometimes, i cry.
i call people (you might be next!)
i avoid neopets.


09 March 2004

::aujourd'hui, il fait trop chaud!!!::

the weather today, combined with our failing air conditioning @ work leaves me headachey and irritable tonight. there's nothing like sushi to put me back in a good mood. ummm... yellowtail! salmon! mackeral! yeah!

i'm listening to pictures of you just one more time before i get in my car & go. the headache is sitting right about the nape of my nose, right where it meets my forehead. so irritating. it is so hot tonight. if there were more window coverings, well... it's tempting you know. i am in my own house!!!

it is too early for summer!!! argh!

time for sushi. kan pai! (acutally shomei sushi again. the local kan pai sushi in ladera ranch has officially earned the nickname "canned pie sushi". sushi is not supposed to be room temperature!!! well, not in my book. it should be cool, even if it has been in someone's hands!)

08 March 2004

::the cure::

i've never been the best robert smith fan, but i've got "pictures of you" looping on itunes at the moment. actually that's a lie. i just pressed play just now, but i'm planning on playing it a multitude of times before i go to sleep.

the landscaping is coming along nicely. it's only day 3, but the walls have started to go up & i am oh so very excited. i am ready to go postal on my association, whose members steathily disapproved my use of terra cotta pots in my latest submission. officially my second, but technically my third to have been returned to me. apparently, the terra cotta idea, which i thought neutal, clashes with my "european architecture". really? i just didn't see it that way, but whatever. you do what you have to in order to make them happy and then i'll just do what i really want in the end. these people really have no life, and i am just short of surprised they have not demanded to see pictures of my future patio furniture. i mean, honestly now, that will be far more visible than the plants! *shaking head* what can you do?

so i'm just in a mellow mood tonight. chatted with lots of people in an effort to keep contact with my friends. feeling certainly lucky to have so very many. very blessed in that area of my life. still, in the end, it's just me & the cats 'til josh gets home. i miss him. we had such a lovely weekend together. :)


well, proudly i am spending quite a bit less time on the computer playing games, but haven't quite reorganized my priorities entirely. it's a work in progress. once the hardscape is done, i am looking forward to the whole planting of plants thing, which will be new for me. and, again, a very adult thing to be doing. ooooh! i'm twen-ty-se-ven. oooooh. so grown up *smirking, laughing at self* ha ha ha. honestly now. i'm still just a kid in so many ways. so i don't have any of my own, understandably so. whatever, i'm rambling. here's something on the spot, sort of stream-of-consciousness. forgive me if it makes not a lot of sense.


wandering through this world
always a bit confused
seemlingly purposeless
slowly finding meaning
in relationships
her friends
becoming more & more important
there's a feat inside
of being alone
not just by myself
but really alone
so fortunate that
lack of contact
doesn't drive them all away
they are all so forgiving

(this is how quelle former job affected me)

the work
comes so quickly
seemingly caught in the midst
of crashing waves
it's unrelenting
and i struggle with my breath
light in my head
i'm swimming
or i'm drowning
will someone tell me which
way is up
so when i stop for a second
or five
and the feeling catches up with me
my eyes water
fresh with living tears
before i am cloaked
in mind-numbing stress
that's how
this feels
that's how
i felt

wow, how i don't miss it. how it's difficult to think that i lived a year of my life like that. how i just didn't even feel like myself. how my work became my life and family (and how lucky i was to have such coworkers as i still keep in touch with them and how we all cheered each other on through the hard times. so lucky). how i just completely feel like, despite the experience i gained from my job, what a wasted year. such an emotional pillar that just buried me and it's unbelievable that others lasted as long as they did. i was the first to go, but others are beginning to follow suit. i suppose i was the weakest of them all? in the end, it's better for me now. and i'm going to keep working really hard where i'm at. and, i'm not looking forward to putting in for the transfer when it comes available, but how can i pass up this opportunity--to work a five minute's walk from my home? i would be crazy. still, there are no guarantees. God will have me wherever he wants me. and that's how it's going to be.

06 March 2004

:: serious saturday ::

...because i can't find & don't have the time to look for something funny. amn, it's late right now. i'll keep this brief as i'll be hitting the hay shortly.

landscaping started yesterday. ohmygosh did it start. this is such a major project and yet again i am struck with disbelief...am i old enough to be doing all this? the truth is, i guess i'm old enough to be doing a whole lot more than i am...but still lack the motivation or drive to be doing whatever that would be... children? going back to school? remembering to clean house? i feel so utterly disorganized. i am trying not to get sick (as has been the pattern for 4 months now, essentially since i started back with the bank). i think my body is adjusting to the germ-ridden money i work with every day and detoxing from the previous job which left me so frazzled. never again. never again.

anyhow, so, that's what's happening. it's way too late (or early, as the case may be) for me to be contemplating lifes profundity or my navel, so i'm calling it quits and going to bed. i've got a lot of work to do tomorrow, if my energy level keeps up like it has been. good evening!

No comments:

Post a Comment