june 2004 archive

Monday, June 28, 2004

::back next week::

much as i hate to do this (about as much as i dislike day-old bacon) the 'muse is going to have to get back on track next week. there are just too many preparations that need to be dealt with (aka Housework with a capital "H" for Horrible!) before we host my sister's family for a day and a half this coming weekend. i would rather be writing my dissertation on movie soundtracks and my favorite composers, but that will come next week. please do check in then!

Saturday, June 26, 2004

::saturday funnies::

a dozen favorites from zefrank's do not call

The Federal Trade Commission's Do Not Call registry is temporarily shut down due to a federal court ruling that declared that it overstepped boundaries. Please use the following if contacted by a telemarketer.

1. Say you are hard of hearing and see how loud they will shout into the phone.

2. Allow the telemarketer to fully explain his offer. When he is finished explain that his company hired you to randomly spot check telemarketers on their performance. Tell him that he did a good job overall, but that he is a bit monotone and needs to fluctuate his tone of voice more to sound convincing. He also should pause longer between sentences, and more clearly pronounce the letter “s”. Tell him you won’t report him if he repeats his speech to you with the appropriate corrections. Repeat.

3. In an annoyed tone cut the telemarketer off mid sentence : “Dan, stop screwing around…we have to get rid of this body fast, did you find a chainsaw or not?”

4. “Congratulations! You’re the 100th caller on the (insert local radio station) Sweet Vacation Giveaway Blast Marathon. You’ve just won a pair of tickets to Negril, Jamaica and the use of Sean Paul’s celebrity vacation house.” Take down her address and send her all of your L.L.Bean catalogues for the rest of your life...after you use them as liner for your cat’s litter box.

5. Keep repeating, “I knew you were going to say that…”

6. Stutter on a syllable of an obvious word in a sentence… see how long it takes before he completes the phrase. When he does, get upset, and say “That really hurts my fee…fee… fee… fee…feel…fee… fee… fee…” ad infinitum.

7. Mid pitch, stop him and complement him on his wonderful voice. Explain that you are a voiceover scout and might have a breakthrough commercial job for him. Ask if he wouldn’t mind doing a quick test. Ask him to say in a deep husky voice “May cause dizziness, diarrhea, vomiting and shortness of breath. A small number of participants in a recent clinical trial experienced weight loss, irregular clotting, abnormally frequent and/or painful urination and hair loss. Results may vary”

8. Ask if he will be your friend if you sign up.

9. Tie obscure facts about Barbara Streisand to everything thing he says, “2.3% interest rate? oh my…did you know Barbara was 23 when she filmed Funny Girl…”

10. Every few minutes repeat, “You’re going to have to bear with me, I have a slight short term memory loss problem…who is this again?”

11. Regardless of the offer tell him you’ll take 7. If he asks what you mean say he drives a hard bargain and you’ll take 9, but that’s as far as you’ll go.

12. Forgive him. Tell him you did. Over and over again, until he hangs up. Then secretly take it back.

copyright: 2003 zefrank.com

Thursday, June 24, 2004

::less than zero::

...only because i'm listening to remy zero's hermes bird right at the moment. this is the album i was listening to when i got my speeding ticket last year. needless to say, we don't keep that cd in the car anymore & i quit the job i was angry at when the motorcycle cop caught my car cruising at a ridiculously fast pace on the 55 right out of triangle square. uhHUM... ah, confessions. feels good. we don't speed anymore (hi, mom). uhHUM. moving on....

today has been a pretty ordinary day. work was steady & the day passed by quickly. i'm officially moving up in the ranks and that is definitely exciting news. the fall schedule of classes arrived yesterday, but all i can do is count down to the beloved vacation to nyc that awaits josh & i. and none too soon as both of us are lingering on the brink of extreme burn out. despite the week off from being sick, my body requires me to have a little more fun on an official vacation.

i'm going to be taking a class with a couple other coworkers, which should be fun and, well, great for accountability. of which my transcript reflects nill. i'm a little anxious about all this back to school stuff. i'm sadly out of practice and i have no memorable study habits and find myself outright scared about the whole affair. i say, bring it on!

Monday, June 21, 2004

::lundi musicaux::

ah, glenn gould. who is he? master pianist, born in canada, fascinated by The North, brilliant interpreter of bach, and definitely in the top 5 of my all time favorite pianists of the twentieth century. turn up any recording of his an extra decibel or two and one is bound to hear gould humming along in the background. and here am i, minutes after the work day has ended on a busy monday, listening to the soundtrack from thirty-two short films about glenn gould and wishing i had a better way of putting into words what it is that absolutely fascinates me about this man, or how i can separate the performer from the brilliance of the compositions. it's a difficult thing to do being so out of practice from where i once was 10 years ago myself as a pianist. and what's more difficult to realize are those ten years...i'd better get practicing since i want to go back into music. still, if ever afforded the opportunity to see as many amateur performances as i can recall, each player has their own nuances which shine forth in their interpretation. truly, an individual's passion for music bleeds into their mastering of a piece and gives it new life each and every time it is played. gould's passion is burned into the recordings that memorialize him as clear as the sun shines in daytime. such absolute mastery of the peaks and valleys in any piece, he is famously hailed by critics for his recording of the goldberg variations of which there were 2: one in 1955, the other near the end of his life in 1981 (he died of a stroke the following year). i have yet to listen to the later recording in its entirety and i am only familiar with the aria from each version of the goldberg variations as a foundation for comparison. that said, i do prefer the more traditional interpretation as heard in the 1955 version.

that said, i'll bring my blathering to a close with these final thoughts: if you're looking for classical music recommendations, you've come to the right place and i will continue to explore my ability to critique music of all types here, every monday. i can't promise brilliance, but hopefully my compositions will improve with time. thanks for sticking with me.

::oh really?::

yesterday, out to dinner on father's day, i excused myself from our table to use the restroom. as i made my way to that corner of the building, i became entangled with another party who was leaving for the evening. because of this, one of the servers turned toward me, smiled broadly, and said "have a good one!"

my regularly scheduled post about music, lundi musicaux, will be up later this evening. i've been contemplating both aimee mann and glenn gould...but i think i'm due for another classical music posting, so glenn gould it will be.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

::saturday funnies::

thank yous to sara in az for the timely email.

A Few Random Thoughts....
(well, actually, it's a lot)

* A heavy-handed father can make a nimble-footed son.
* A lot of church members who are singing "Standing On The Promises" are just sitting on the premises.
* A pint of example is worth a gallon of advice.
* Ballerinas are always standing on their toes. Why don't they just get taller ballerinas?
* Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
* DIAPER spelled backward is REPAID. Think about it...
* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window!
* Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
* Do not believe in miracles...rely on them.
* Energizer Bunny arrested--charged with battery.
* Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
* Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day, but give him a case of dynamite and soon the village will be showered with mud and seaweed and unidentifiable chunks of fish.
* He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more; He who loses faith, loses all.
* If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
* If you think about it, Adam had more trouble than any of the rest of us buying his Father a gift for Father's Day. I mean, what do you get somebody who's Everything?
* I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.
* Life can be only understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.
* Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
* Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.
* Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
* Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
* Real friends are those who, when you feel you've really made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.
* Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, and faith looks up.
* Sweater: a garment worn by a child when a mother feels chilly.
* The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
* The best thing to spend on your children is time.
* The buck doesn't even slow down here!
* There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."
* We all have expiration dates, but only God can read the bar code.
* We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
* What does Geronimo yell when he jumps out of a plane?
* What do they use to ship Styrofoam?
* What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
* What if there were no hypothetical questions?
* What is the speed of dark?
* What's another word for synonym?
* What's another word for thesaurus?
* What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
* When a cow laughs, does milk come out its nose?
* When dad blows his big top, make sure you're not on the high wire.
* When dog food has a new and improved taste, who tests it?
* Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
* When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It make's the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
* When I was a kid, I could toast a marshmallow over my birthday cake. Now I could roast a turkey.
* Where are the germs that cause GOOD breath?
* Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?
* Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
* "Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God."

Monday, June 14, 2004

::lundi musicaux::

friday, driving home from a lovely dinner with josh, i was bombarded by yet another appalling cover song. which, to say the least, only confirmed that i have no business listening to the radio. period. what did i hear? 311 attempting the cure's lovesong. can you imagine the horror? barely respecting the perfection of the classic robert smith tune, these white bread boyz give it up to us with their straight-laced, quasi-reggae guitar licks. yes, i listened to the entire song, but only out of morbid curiosity. and the rabbit hole grows deeper: apparently this wannabe remake is featured on the soundtrack to 50 first dates, noticeably re-forming the title into love song. and that space would represent the chasm of greatness between 311 and the cure.

but perhaps the worst offender of this timeless classic, which i accidently discovered thanks to itunes, is one by the snake river conspiracy (which doesn't even deserve to be underlined because it is just that bad). the song might have been cool, with the edgy electronic guitars and the angry-mob-wish-i-was-shirley-manson vocals, but only if it wasn't trying to sacrifice a live animal in the process. further wanderings also show an attempt on the smiths how soon is now? which makes the girls of t.a.t.u. seem, well, almost subdued. note to itunes: do update your inventory of smiths tunes, for all our sakes. morrissey alone isn't enough.

i understand fans, and musicians especially, wanting to pay tribute to their heros, the very people who inspire them in their art. success stories? this, a group of independent artists banding together in tribute to u2. while quality of musicianship varies from track to track, favorites include peoplemover's brilliant blow-by-blow recreation of acrobat, as well trespassers williams' moody rendition of love is blindness. i'm also partial to lemon, which is transformed into a playfully soulful tune by jay buchanan and sunday bloody sunday which lance angelus has recreated into a lazy stomp through time (tom waits would be so proud). last, though certainly not least, in god's country by deep mosey, whose artfully delayed guitar sounds, droning accordion, laid back drum beats, clever bass lines and ethereal vocals melt together to form a wonderful & brilliant texture in your ear.

and then, of course, there's johnny cash.

Sunday, June 13, 2004

::google blog::

google has a blog! who would have thought? well, i suppose that's not much of a stretch considering they own blogger, but still. humph!

Saturday, June 12, 2004

::saturday funnies::

Home remedies that work
thank you to ann for the joke :)

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for awhile, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

Friday, June 11, 2004

::twenty-seven and scheming::

amazingly, sans internet search engines, i made yet another connection with a fellow alum from high school. so, holy cow?! at this rate, i should be reaquainted with two or three graduating classes by the time i'm thirty! i never thought my work at the bank could be so fruitful! the nicest thing about our meeting, i think, was having all the pretense that goes with high school wiped away by jodi's warm smile and outgoing invitation. it is unfortunate that i was at work and could not make immediate use of the whole "let's get together!" proposition, but i think we'll be able to make good on that soon enough.

i've also managed to reunite my parents with their neighbors (ron & pat) of twenty-some-odd years ago simply because i look so much like my mom and because the customer had the tenacity to ask a few key questions. this was just a wonderful coincidence which just thrilled my parents to no end: i get teary-eyed just thinking about it!

oh, just curious, anyone know anything about orkut? are you a member? how can i finagle an invite?

Monday, June 07, 2004

::lundi musicaux::

the pick of the week, stolen from my internet wanderings while i was home sick, is this compilation of timeless new wave and distinctly non-mainstream tunes. what i like: the eighties reminiscient guitar tones and morrissey-like vocals/guitars. what scared me: the cabbage song. the best thing: the mp3's provided instant gratification! the mix is currently looping on itunes....

also a nod in the direction of mr. john williams for the latest accomplishment in scoring the third harry potter flick (which i still haven't seen). and, congrats are in order as he was recently awarded an honorary degree from juilliard! lucky, (uhHUM)!

* * * * * * * * * *

my recent posting on friends has resulted in a very happy event! checking my email today i found a surprise: mail from jessica brier! now, raise your hand if you've ever searched for yourself on the internet...seriously? me too! and, most of the time, there are random returns which make no sense and simply do not even apply to you. somehow, furiousmuse stood out and, here we go again! i've been making quite a few contacts lately, which is actually quite exciting and certainly much better than any high school reunion i can imagine. most of these people wouldn't even be at my reunion!

the other exciting thing, aside from being at work today and making more human contact than i have in a week of being sick, has been ironing out my school plans. while there are still a lot of decisions ahead of me, i'm directing my focus at two objectives: music theory & composition and english. for the longest time i've been dreaming of being a film score composer and i'm thinking it's time i gave it a try. and the english is more of an extra-curricular thing. i'd like to focus my abilities and turn them into something useful. and, it's sort of a backup plan. my safety net is, ultimately, teaching. fortunately that is something i enjoy, even if it currently entails giving sunday school lessons to preschoolers! exciting things are on the horizon. how am i ever going to keep up with the housework?!

Saturday, June 05, 2004

::more funny::

my cat annie brought to you by zefrank! zefrank is LOTS of fun. i'm actually in tears right now from reading the "do not call" bit. if you don't go there, saturdays from now until 2005 will be filled with references to ze. therefore, you must respond with your favorites. now! go! laugh!

::saturday fun::

Friday, June 04, 2004

::the infinite cat project::

thank you, justin, for making me laugh in between naps and multiple-commercial-free-episodes of alias. (the title is a clickable link, folks!)

::fabulous friday::

much as i would rather be ringing in the weekend with the new harry potter film, i am home sick yet again. 3 days in a row of absolute ridiculousness. if anyone can sneak the premiere into my living room, bring it.

now, i realize there is somewhat of a controversy in certain christian circles about this film, the books, and j.k. rowling herself, but i honestly don't buy it. and i don't have the capacity to argue my point right now. suffice to say that i find the world of harry potter highly captivating, intriguing, and entertaining. and how is rowling's mystical world of witches & wizards anymore questionable than madeleine l'engle's a wrinkle in time or c.s. lewis' the lion, the witch, & the wardrobe? it's the age-old battle of good & evil, which can take so many different forms in the immagination!

Thursday, June 03, 2004

::tooling around::

it's been an interesting day between, er, neopets (though i hate to admit it) and friendster and various online searches. i'm starting to reconnect with old friends like crazy lately, and i think i'd better slow down before i end up on overload. either that, or i'm experiencing some weird side effect of the tylenol/vitamins/antibiotics i've been pumping into my system all day. as much fun as it's been to stay home, i really don't enjoy being sick. i'd much rather i were well so that way i could be doing something useful with my time here. not that reconnecting isn't useful. i did manage to shoot off my application to saddleback to jumpstart my college career again, which was a good thing. and, i mailed out 3 letters to different addresses i was able to find online for my long-lost friend vanessa who, it appears, moved back east at some point. and, i've been putting off a much needed nap for most of the day. and look at the time! ::shaking head:: well, i guess i better eat dinner so i can take more medicine.

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