extraordinary machine

so everything is in flux as i've been trying to, i suppose, get into it with the new year, new life, new school, new piano lessons, new schedule. it's as though everything's been in flux and i'll admit even now my post'll make little sense since i'm ever scatter-brained at 100 mph. this has been the year of flux-uation, and i'm trying to find my rythmn in life and it's so challenging and frightening. bit by bit i'm putting frustrations behind me, but indeed it is a slow and painful process. you're reading this though, and so dear reader, i will aim to keep you entertained in spite of long silences.

some know i've had a love/hate relation with work in recent months as, of course, i attempt to find balance in my life with all aspects in equal portions. ha! well, part of that included turning in my resignation yesterday. and, friends, this is where i truly believe God acts & moves in mysterious & awesome ways: what follows was nothing short of miraculous. in a haze of doubt and nervousness, i took my lunch break al-fresco, sweating it out in the rain as erin & i talked shop about the restaurant biz in a sort of how-to for dummies (me, the dummy). our call ended with my feeling more foolish then ever and "what on earth am i getting myself into" clouded my thoughts as my stomach continued to churn and i continued to sweat despite the cold. HOWever, within 3 hours of my letter of resignation finding its way into the hands of my manager, the Regional Manager walked through our office door in casual attire and i was escorted into an "exit interview". my shock quickly dissipated as it turned into "what can we do to keep you with the company?" enter New Shock. and an amazing feeling of gratitude and pride as i felt a Truly Valued Employee. quite unexpected as i'd left the company once before (3.5 years ago) and nary an eye was batted my direction. so, i'm staying. after all, i've already established myself in this "career", and i'd be complicating things to attempt a career change to waiting tables before my graduation, upon which i expect to begin another career as a teacher. i mean, what on earth was i thinking? (just one thought i had as i pondered erin's words of wisdom) 

Regional Manager promises to resolve things to my satisfaction quickly, but i'm to keep this under wraps until such decision is executed (hence the delay in publishing this post--some coworkers read my blog). there is a strange backstory here about interviewing for transfer to another office and balls getting dropped left and right, but that is neither here nor there at this point). 

apart from this, school is in full swing and so far much more mild-mannered than the previous quarter. i find myself run down though and this past week my fingers barely brushed the piano keys. i must find practice rooms on campus that i can sneak myself in to. oh! and i must bring up that we saw elbow at the avalon in hollywood last week and they were so incredible. the sound was perfect, the band was mind-blowing, and the venue entered into my top three. if you haven't heard of elbow, check it out. you won't be disappointed. 

the life is an extraordinary machine (so is fiona apple). i'm amazed at every turn, every day that goes by that i'm doing it: i'm living this dream and i've got a wonderfully loving & supporting man to share in the pleasures & the pain of it all, who doesn't begrudge the difficulties but stands at my side regardless of the mood i'm in. by no means is it easy, but surely this life is good.

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